Lemme start off by saying:
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
Now to skim through the heavier things quickly. (If you know me, call me and I'll elaborate. If you just happen to read this, I'm sorry, perhaps I'll give all the d's later....) This is probably the hardest holiday season I've ever had to deal with. Grandma died on Sunday. The funeral was today. I've never cried so much in my life (except for maybe the time last January when all the shit hitteth the fan). It was the hardest to see my mom, my rock, break down. And I got some shit news concerning one of my best friends. Nobody's dying or anything like that--thank GOD--but it's still news that I don't want to think about. I'm not going to elaborate because it's not mine to tell. I'll just say that I'm not having this go down without a fight. And I WILL fight to the end for this, make no mistake about that.
Needless to say, this is not my ideal holiday season. Half of my break is done and I've spent it whining or crying. Not ideal. My heart feels broken. My soul is heavy. I feel hollow.
Sometimes I wish I could just be numb to everything bad.
And sometimes I wish I wasn't so emotional.
But then I realize that with the bad comes the good and without the bad you can't truly appreciate the good.
And really, isn't that the meaning of Christmas?
Or one of them at least?
The Christmas Eve service tonight kicked ass. My church has a new pastor interning there. He's awesome. He played the guitar--in a John Mayer-esque way. *sigh* And he did a short sermon. And the main sermon was about the birth of Christ (obviously) and about how God sent him to Earth to ease our pains and so He wouldn't have to judge anymore. It was comforting.
Plus I got to play with fire. Hurrah!
Gaah...I'm online right now. Humm....tis a night of interesting news. That's all I'm gonna say. Sorry. Brain fart.
One happy thing that's come out of the death is that I've seen EVERYONE in my family. Like all 18 of my cousins. And most of my baby (second) cousins. Sooo cute. It sucks that we had to catch up on shitty circumstances, but it was sooo nice to see them all. Reminscing is definitely fun. Miss Abi--one of my cousins I was close to when we were younger--reminded me of some of our dorkier moments.
Oh GOD. So, why didn't anyone tell me how much of a massive dork I was when I was in high school? Gaah. I was cleaning out my room and found a bunch of old pictures. They WILL be burned. As will the negatives.
Oooh--it's officially Christmas. Hurrah! Our tree is crammed with presents. Katy bought Mom a vaccuum. That was fun trying to get under the tree. Mom's been quite cryptic as to what she's bought us this year. The pressure's on because she's been saying for like 2 months how she found the "perfect presents" and she "hopes we like them." Gaah. Hopefully they'll be fabu. They usually are.
Hehe
I'm such a kid at Christmas. Whee!
And there isn't like 10 feet of snow on the ground. There's only like 3 feet. Unusual for the UP this time of year. I'm actually winter driving. Amazing. I loathe winter driving.
Em and I exchanged presents last night. Good times. Jodi, her sister, was there with her two kids. Both under the age of three. Yay little kids! Hallie is only six months. She is. So. Damn. Cute. She has the squiggiest face and chubbiest cheeks. And gorgeous blue eyes and dark lashes. And sticky-uppy dark hair. She's the epitome of cute. And she liked me! I got to hold her a lot. Hurrah! I love babies. I'm Auntie Krissy to them.
I'm AUNTIE KRISSY! That makes me eternally happy. I'm an aunt! (kinda) I'm an aunt! (kinda)
That's my total holiday happiness.
Aight, I should go to bed. The sooner to bed, the sooner Santa comes.
Hehe
*wink*
Ciao dahling!
~*Krissy*~
Livin' Out My RockStar Fantasy To: The Lizzie McGuire Movie
Crush du Jour: John Mayer (it's nice to know that his music is comforting when I need it...his cd's are definitely my catch-all music)
Happy Thought of the Moment: seeing relatives, twinkly lights, manicures, Pingu, great presents, sparkling snow, starry nights, Godiva chocolates, hugs, candles, baths, cute boys, being comforted, great great friends, fresh fruit, cookies, laughing