Can I just say that I am nobody's scapegoat? Nobody's trashcan. Nobody's toilet. Nope nope nope. My mom was my dad's for a gabillion years and I saw the pain that she went through. I was also my dad's until my parents divorced when I was five. (And how low is that to make a little child feel like shit, huh? What a guy my dad is...) I am above feeling like dirt, feeling like shit, feeling like I'm 3 inches tall.
So I enjoy work and all, I LOVE waitressing, earning money, talking, pretty much all aspects of it (so I'm crazy--duh), but one thing that I do not enjoy is when my boss uses me as his personal scapegoat. And it's just me. He treats all the other employees like gold, but for me--nope, I can be hollered at and made to feel like shit. Don't get me wrong--it rarely happens, but that is NOT the point. The point is that it should NOT be happening at all. So yeah, I do screw up (helloooooo, ketchup incident), but all people do. It's no reason to make me feel like a lowly oaf.
Because I am not. Obviously my boss does not realize what a valuable resource I am. That I am a hard worker, that I put my all into my job, that I work my damned hardest there, that I am a goddess in every possible way.
I am incredibly frustrated. Because 94% of the time he is a great guy. And the other owner is exceptionally sweet--I LOVE her. I just don't know why I'm the one who has been the "chosen one" as far as scapegoats go.
The thing that really gets me is that he seems to do it when I'm really trying my hardest, trying to help people out. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Shouldn't it be when I'm lazing around, completely slacking off? I guess it just really fits into my fucked up world.......
I am above this. I am a human being, I deserve respect. I am completely above this. I don't deserve to be put down. I AM NOBODY'S TRASH CAN. I'm a strong and independent woman. I can handle this. "Nobody makes you feel inferior without your consent." This is true. I won't take this shit. If anything, at least I only have one more month there. It just really sucks because I enjoy everything else about the job.
GREAT--family's screaming at me. Add to my shitty day. ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! At least I am leaving for Marquette in less than 24 hours. Ciao for now!
~*Krissy*~