I miss the summer of Ricky Martin. I'm watching some video thingy on VH1 right now and they were just talking about Livin' La Vida Loca. I loved that song. I loved that cd. I loved Ricky Martin. That was a good summer...the summer before I was a senior. I worked at KMart, made a bunch of new friends there and just had fun because I knew that it was my last real summer. I somehow knew that after high school things would change. Granted, it was all good change, but how was I to know that then? I still think about those last summers and KMart and all that goes with those things. I miss those days. As cheesily reminiscent as it is, I do miss it. I was drunk on a crush (a very very very BAD ONE, but still), I enjoyed my job, I was innocently happy. I still am those things, but I'm slightly more disenchanted and edgier now. I think.
That was a random monologue I didn't mean to talk about....
Damn.
So today was a rough day at work. First off, I hate waking up early. Only one more real day of doing that. Hurrah! But yeah--I was electronically indexing letters all morning. I was literally numb from doing it. I felt like a robot: type number, flip letter, hit "index", do again.....700 times. For real. By noon I only had 200 letters left to file. There was over 900 letters when I'd started. I was exhausted. Then Audrey came in and started looking at them. My brain was mush as she babbled, but it registered that she said something about having to re-index them.
Ummm...rewind, please.
Our office is in the process of switching to a new system for the new year. Nobody had told me to index the letters to a certain system. And I hadn't been trained on the new system, to boot. So I indexed away on the system that I was used to. Since these letters pertained to the new school year we'd have to do them. All. Over.
When Audrey told me she knew I'd freak out so she had to cover my mouth. Damn straight. If she hadn't I would have unleashed a string of curse words that would have made Vegas pimps blush. Instead I just sat there, fighting to not cry. Because that's the only other thing to do when you're tough like me.
So 8 hours spent fighting with the scanner and staring at blankly at a computer screen while my brain cells melted (I felt them dying, I really did) went down the drain because of a FUCKING NEW SYSTEM?!?
Rawr
Words couldn't express how angry I was. And pissed. And I was worried about my mom on top of that.
(I had a lot of time to think since the project required no neurons, so my thoughts turned to my mom and the monetary situation that seems to be her life. Every conversation we have centers around money and always comes back to that when we're on the phone. I can hear how stressed she is and I wish I could just win the fucking lottery for her, but I can't. I can't do anything and I hate hate hate how vulnerable and helpless I feel when I talk to her. It tears me up and I hang up wanting to burst into tears a lot of times. And people wonder why I can go for a couple of weeks between phone conversations with her. I don't think this is normal; I don't really think it's fair that I'm not even out of college and I have to worry about stuff like that. In some ways I feel cheated out of a childhood and now I'm being cheated out of a college "childhood" because of some of our conversations. As much as I love and adore my mother, I hate this feeling.)
Needless to say, I came home feeling highly emotional. (It doesn't help that I know I'm fucking PMS-ing EITHER. Rawr.)
There is a happy ending though:
My boss called while I was napping (really, the only thing I can do well when I'm stressed and emotional is sleep) and said that there was a way to save all my work. No re-doing needed. Hurrah! Except now I'm going to go into work tomorrow morning and feel like a dork because I was so upset about it. Oh well. It shows I'm commited. Right?
I gotta get to my other job. God, I cannot wait for a vacation. Chicago, you cannot come fast enough. (I've started making my list of "gotta-go" places for there. Yay!)
Ciao, dahling!
~*Krissy*~
Livin' Out My RockStar Fantasy To: dumb Snapple commercial
Crush du Jour: Ricky Martin, Johnny Depp
Happy Thought of the Moment: free food, happy (work-related) endings, hobbit-looking people, naps, cute shoes, rainy days, Taco Bell runs (shut up, I don't wanna hear it), massages (I need one...), daquiaris, makind mix cds, free magazines, hugs, sunglasses, good novels