My sister just called me. I don't know if I will be able to let go of everything to a point where we can have a close relationship. I'm just scared that she's going to be a brat to me again. That's just not cool.
So my sister was a dork. A dumb dork. She gave me the address to her online journal. I don't know if she still does anything with Diaryland, but her latest love is with Xanga. And me being the bored office goddess I am, I surfed around and was reading her entries from the later part of last semester.
The quote above was from an entry at the end of March.
Frankly, it pisses me off. And confuses me. If everyone hailed me as the Drama Queen, get ready to bow down and kiss the rings of Katy, the Queen of Over-dramaticness.
She makes it sound like I'm to blame for all of her issues in life. Like I've locked her in a cellar and beaten her on the hour every day for ten years or something.
Ok, so yes, I was a big sister and I teased her. And I tried to help her when I thought she needed help. But she never wanted my help. And when I teased, she teased right back--usually harsher and more viciosly than me.
We're talking about a girl with a heart of ice and a soul that steel cannot penetrate. I'm referring to the girl who could easily kick my ass if I challenged her to a fight and could probably just as easily rip me a new asshole in a war of words.
To put it delicately: she's a vicious bitch.
I'd like to think that I played a part in making her like that, but I have soul. I cry easily and wear my heart openly on my sleeve. I'm more likely to comfort people then comeback with a sarcastic comment. Katy builds walls, erects forts and locks her feelings away. It's out of fear.
But that is no. reason. for her to try to make it sound like I was a heartless bitch to her. She knew how to fight back and start fights on her own. She made my life and mom's life a living hell while she went through puberty and her teenage years. Hell, she still has demonic temper tantrums from time to time.
Yet, I'm the one who fucked our relationship up? We're sisters. Sisters fight. We break each other down, we build each other up--that's how it works. I've cried many times because of Katy. And I know she's bawled because of me. But I've also helped her celebrate her successes and encouraged her when she was down.
I'm not the evil stepsister here. She should really be thanking the stars that she has an angel (albeit with horns) on her side. Ultimately, she's the one acting like a brat.
Ciao, dahling!
~*Krissy*~
Livin' Out My RockStar Fantasy To: "Ocean Avenue" by Yellowcard
Crush du Jour: Johnny Depp, Tobey Maguire
Happy Thought of the moment: cake!, pop radio, cold water, cold cereal, new vaccuum, finishing phase I of a big project, colorful scarves, cartoons, fun dreams, neon