Overwhelmed. Emotionally overwhelmed. Can't really think. Can't sleep. Can't express myself eloquently. Frustrated. Grr
I think I'm going through a mid-mid-life crisis.
I was on the phone with my mom, which is always a fabulous thing. But we were talking about how incredibly stupid my dad can be and usually is. And it hit me how unfair my life has really been. And not just my life, but my mom's and my sister's lives as well. Cuz of dad. Cuz of my horrid bitch of a step-mother. (Whom is actually my ex-stepmother now, thank GOD.)
My life was royally screwed over in a way because of all the shit that those two pulled. And I don't care to go into it cuz it's too hard to explain, but....
Life just doesn't really seem fair. On the deep level, it's not about money or being deprived or even not having a father figure in my life. It's about how much other people can really affect your life.
I guess I really can't talk about this without going into detail. I guess all I'm trying to say is that dad and his "wife" have negatively influenced our lives.
The part that completely scares the shit out of me is the fact that horrible people exist in this world. And they live to make other people miserable. And they feed and thrive on the fact that they succeed at doing so. And, yes, in the end karma triumphs. But until then, it seems like they get away with it. And it's not fair because there are so many good, decent, nice people in the world that have to deal with these losers and adjust.
I don't even know if I'm making sense. I'm still emotionally overloaded over here. I have some issues to work through. It's been a hard couple of hours. I'm still working on my feelings and thoughts on this whole topic.
I guess I just hate the fact that I can't control everything. Which I realize. But when I think about parts of my life, it really just doesn't seem fair.
Don't get me wrong: I love my life. I love who I am, I adore my family, and I have the greatest support system of friends EVER. I'm going places and I know I have a lot going on for me. It's just extremely scary that shit can keep happening to people.
That's all I'm saying.
Ponder that. Lemme know what y'all think
Ciao, dahling!
~*Krissy*~
Living Out My RockStar Fantasy To: Room For Squares by John Mayer--my comfort cd, my happy cd, my emotional cd, my hyped-up cd, my laid-back/chilling out cd, my beddy-bye cd....it's just the best investment I've ever made.
Crush Du Jour: Jimmy Fallon (Hurraaah! SNL is on tonight!!!!)
Happy Thought of the Moment: SLEEP, thoughts of the fun I had last night, free tshirts, my new Lilo and Stich poster, virgin daquairis, moo-cows, road trips, "bonding experiences", bonfires, REAL breakfast food