So I'm watching E's True Hollywood story about Missy Elliot. Quite intriguing. Really moving, too.
She was talking about her mom and she just got the biggest, dopiest smile on her face. She said that she was so happy that she could give her mom a nice home with nice cars. You could tell that she just felt secure in knowing that her mom was living comfortably. She seemed so thrilled to be able to give back to her, because "she lived through hell."
I want that. I want that so bad. I want to be successful. Not for me, well...a little for me, but more for my mom. I want to give her the world SO bad. Mom has gone through nothing but hell. My heart breaks just thinking about it. My mom is incredible.
And I know that everyone says that about their mom. We're not being subjective or anything. :P But my mom's story plays out like a made-for-tv mini-series. It sounds completely cheesy and forced, but I'm serious. If I'd gone through even a tenth as much shit as she has, I'd wither up and die.
It just blows my mind.
And she's sick. She's been sick since my senior year. And the hardest thing in the world for me was having to watch her transform from a strong mother into someone nearly helpless. She's fought back and regained a lot of her former strength and energy with the help of some miracle drugs (god bless drug companies, I'd french kiss the ones that manufacture mom's drugs if I could), but things still aren't the same.
I know she worries a lot about making ends meet and about her health. And when she stresses her health gets worse. It's a vicious cycle. And I don't know how to halt it. And sometimes I feel helpless because I want to help her out so bad. And then sometimes I get angry at the world that I have to worry about this kind of stuff--why couldn't I just have a normal family and life where both parents work and love each other and all is well...or as well as things could be in today's society.
It makes my head spin.
Ciao, dahling!
~*Krissy*~
Livin' Out My RockStar Fantasy to: "Someday" by Nickelback...such a good song
Crush du Jour: John Mayer
Happy Thought of the Moment: no hell-day Tuesday, chinese food, Jessica's fortune-cookie technique, good fortunes, Overdrive by Katy Rose (gooood song), chopsticks, easy class periods, dancing to cheesy pop music, no homework, Bridget Jnes's Diary, fabulous friends, fresh fruit, cute boys, V-day plans