In case you haven't realized it, I am a dork. A dork of epic proportions. Yes yes. All my friends agree on this. But it's ok. I love my dorkiness. I think it's reached the epitome of dorkiness tonight though.
So I'm sitting here at my computer, bored outta my mind. So what do I begin to do? I start taking those cheesy online quizzes about the guy that I like like "Will he ask you out?" or "Are you compatible?" Is that dorky or what? Or maybe it's just kinda pathetic. Either way....You don't understand just how bored I am over here. Really really bored. If I were motivated I may have studied for my upcoming finals. But nope. Instead I dally on my stupid craptop.
OK, I need to vent...actually get this offa my chest. So this little crush of mine. Em and Mel keep buggin' me to ask him out. They don't understand. I just can't do it. It's kinda sad, actually. I spout off these little opinions of mine about being empowered and independent. And I can't even ask a guy out. BUT...I did it once. I think it's just been in the last couple of crush cases that I haven't been able to do it. The one time I did it....oh LORD.
OK the guy I liked the summer before I came to Northern. We'll call him....J. Yes "J" will do. :p K looking back I have no idea what I even saw in this guy. Honestly, he is the biggest nerd ever. The people that have met him agree with me. Plus...he's slightly creepy now that I think of it. Anyways...so I liked this guy all summer for some reason--I think that perhaps I was on drugs and was just dellusioned the summer before college. But so finally before the summer ended I made a pact with myself to ask J out.
So one day I was in the store he worked at buying shit for school. And we just started talking. And the next thing I knew I was saying something like "we should go out sometime." I was stunned that I actually said it. I honestly didn't mean to say it THEN, it just kinda slipped out. I just froze then. I didn't know what to do. He just kinda looked at me wierd (but he always looked at me wierd so it wasn't that big of a deal). Then after what seemed like a million moments he raised he eyebrows, kinda smiled in his dorky way and was like "yeah that'd be cool I think."
I think I said something like "Ok, see you later-bye!" and ran off. I was completely mortified that I actually did it. I mean, I was proud that I did do it, but at the same time I felt so dumb. While I was standing there, I felt the blood rush to my head, I got all dizzy, I nearly saw stars, and I felt like I was all wobbly. I coudld've sworn that I'd faint right then and there. It was a rush, but not the good kind. (K, I feel that same feeling just reliving the experience.)
So yes...I can't ask guys out. Well I can, but after that one experience I don't want to. If that is what guys go through every time they ask a girl out, I feel bad. LOL The worst part, though? I never even went out with him. I went to college and stopped liking him shortly after. Oh well.
Wow--it's like 2 in the morning. I should probably go to sleep. What an idea. Yeah sleep makes me happy. Hope you've enjoyed this little glimpse into my chaotic world. Ciao, dahling!
~*Krissy*~