Mr. Bartender, Mr. DJ/make me feel good/I got fiirrred today...
This is my ultimate party song. Every time I hear the opening guitar chords (which I now realize are from some cheesy 70s song), I feel like jumping up and dancing and grabbing my friends and going out.
Yeaaaah.
Too bad I'm in fucking CHASSELL.
Grr.
I'm in the land of nothing-ness. Seriously. There is nooothing to do here. I've finished a book and a half and I'm working on two more. Why? Cuz there's nothing else to do here. Then people wonder why I never come home.
I've been to the mall every day but today. C thinks I'm insane cuz I'm always here. He probably also thinks that I'm made of money. I'm not. I'm just hella bored. And I'm trying to make what little Christmas shopping I have left last as long as possible as an excuse to get the fuck out of the house for a little bit.
Gaah.
I suppose I could call some of my old high school friends....
But, really, I feel like a complete nerd in front of them still. Except Em. And that's cuz we're at school together. And cuz we're just dorks in general.
But I feel like my life is just not something my high school friends would understand. They wouldn't get how my job makes me feel or how my Detroit trip really was one of the greatest moments of my life or how every single college experience I've had reiterates just how much I love my life and how badly I'm aching to escape the U.P.
All they talk about is partying and sororities and random hook-ups. Um, these are a few of the things that I really have no clue about.
And for a good reason...
I don't know. I'll probably end up hanging out with them. But the whole time I'll be thinking of being back on campus, hanging out with my NAE friends or Joe or whoever. Or I'll feel inadequate, like a flashback to the early years of high school. Oh well.
I just realized that I sound like an insecure freshman. Grr. Grr squared.
Grandma update: she's still alive. I told Mom how I felt the other day--how it'd be better for us all if she just passed away. I got hollered at hard core. Then I hollered at her and ended up bawling. It was like a bad scene out of cheesy soap opera. But really (and this is gonna, again, sound completely selfish and bitchy) I've seen the dog more than I've seen mom. Finally yesterday we went shopping together for a couple of hours. That was nice. I came home to see mom. To be with her. I'm kinda grumpy that my gradma takes a turn for the worst when I'm home. It's the worst fucking time of the year for this to happen. Really.
And all I've heard for the past three days is "she's not doing so well. She's taken a turn for the worst, she'll be gone soon." When I heard it today I laughed. Seriously. I laughed. How sick, I know. I just want it to be over with. I don't understand why God would keep us all hanging like he is. Fucking take her away already! We KNOW she's suffering. We ALL are.
I just want to get on with my life.
Technically I shouldn't even be on the computer in case mom tries calling. Because,again, she's at the hospital. This may actually be it, though. A nurse called this morning. Hmm.
Just....
Just keep your fingers crossed and say a prayer, if you don't mind.
I'm talking to one of Joe's friends online right now. I haven't heard from Joe since Wednesday. Grr. He tried calling me before Return of the King. He was so excited when the lights went down that he hung up on me. I haven't heard from him since.
Humph.
I am such a pouty little asshole! Seriously. How much more immature can I get right now: insecure, selfish, bitchy....damn.
I've reverted back to my six-year-old self.
It probably doesn't help that I blared the 80s hour on the radio when I woke up this morning. Mwahahaha.
Thanks for listening to my rants. I'll be better soon. I promise.
Ciao dahling!
~*Krissy*~
Livin' Out My RockStar Fantasy To: "how do you talk to an angel" by...I can't remember but it's from the early 90s
Crush du Jour: David Beckham
Happy Thought of the Moment: christmas lights, decorating, cleaning, warm showers, baths, pretty wrapping paper, Calendar Club, shiny nail polish, spending cash on yourself, hoodies, good dreams, Bella, making the deans list, cute pix, hugs, holiday shopping, ornaments, funny commercials, Freaky Friday, pizza, sleeping in, good novels