Girls are shallow. This is what the news program I'm watching is saying. Which I think is true to a certain extent. Girls like nice clothes and makeup and good hair. They're drawn to other girls who have good fashion sense and who are pretty. Yes yes--we can be shallow. Especially in high school. I don't think I should even GO there right now. Yeah...I spent freshman and sophomore years of high school attempting to get people to love and accept me. I was a cheerleader for Christ's sake. I was pretty insecure. I wasn't happy at all.
I think the majority of the feelings stem from my cheering coach actually. She was such a wenchy bitch. I'm not even kidding. I was a scapegoat, a living, breathing doormat for her for 2 goddammed years. She blamed everything on me, never missed an opportunity to cut me down--"put me in my place," as she put it. Right--yeah that's really big of her to pick on a freshman who's still learning her place in the world. I remember vividly her telling me in front of both squads that I had a fat ass and that my skirt look horrid on me, that I needed to lose weight stat. I may have had a fat ass, but you don't influence people like that. I'm sorry. She is truly the one person I dont know if I can ever forgive.
But then again.....I turned out pretty great--at least in my opinion. And mine's the only one that counts. That's one of the biggest lessons I've EVER learned. I'm stronger at least for putting up with the coach's shit for 2 long years. I'm more sensitive to other people's feelings and I know where people are coming from better. And I realize and understand that there are a lot worse situations that I could have been in.
I realize that the experiences I have make who I am today and who I will be. So I guess I really can't hold a grudge, have hostility or hatred towards her. Like I said, I'm a better person from it. And that's all that really matters.
Ciao for now, daaaahling!
~*Krissy*~