Soooo I probably shouldn't be wallowing in self-pity, should I? Nooo. Ok, so really I'm not, but I'm feeling a little grumpy, a little crabby. Definitely feelin' the part of my costume. Yeah....
Which, by the way, I looked HOT in. Like 2 people figured that I was Kelly, the rest just thought I was a punk-rock princess. That works too.
I don't know. I just feel....edgy. Grumpy. Blah. Not my usual optimistic self.
And I can tell ya exactly when I began feeling that way.
At the bar. The Shamrock.
And it's not because of my friends or anything. Noooo, they're fine. They're fabulous. No reason to hold anything against them, because I love them all.
I guess I don't really know.
Just seeing all of those guys kind of made me depressed in a way. Because I know that their goal was to just get drunk and fuck some random girl. And there is no way in hell I wanted to be one of those random girls. Nooooo way.
But at the same time, I kind of wished that I had a guy....or even a potential. But there's nobody. Nada. And it kinda really sucks.
I mean, usually I'm absolutely fine with being independent, but for some odd reason tonight, it just really stuck with me that I'm alone.
This is NOT a good feeling.
This is a sucky feeling. This is a shitty feeling.
Right now I'd like nothing more than to just cuddle with a guy who adores me.....and who isn't gay.
And really, not to sound stuck-up or bitch, but I don't really know why I don't attract guys. I think I'm cute. I'm not some drop-dead gorgeous bombshell that has guys worhipping the ground she walks on. But I think I'm cute. And so I have curves. Big deal. I love them, and if guys don't, then really they can go and fuck themselves. Nobody is really a perfect size 2 anyways. Curves are good, feminine. Whatever. And I have no problem making friends, so that means that my social skills aren't DOA. And I have confidence, except for the occasional Bridget Jones-worthy freak out. I don't know.
K, here's the bottom line. I know I'm great.
Simple.
According to every single girly magazine the guys should be flocking to me.
K, guys....anytime now.
Really.
:p Whatever. As much as I love Cosmo, I think that's a crock of shit.
I think what really bugs me about this is that I'm so bothered by this whole wah-wah-I-don't-have-a-guy mood that I'm wallowing in.
Grr.
Let's look at this reasonably: so relationships are great usually. They make you happy, you feel fabulous, whatever. But then you fight. And that's not so fabulous. And you can't flirt with other guys. And then there's the inevitable break-up.
Sounds shitty to me.
So why the hell do me and sooo many other girls feel the desperate need to want a guy?
This really does suck.
I mean, I completely know why relationships are great. That's understandable.
I don't know.
Gaaaaaaaaaah
If anybody has any jewels of knowledge or opinion, please, by all means, just let me have it. If I'm out-of-line, or you think I'm being a whiny bitch, please say so.
Cuz I really do hate feeling this way.
Grr. I'm feeling better just by venting. That's good. Yay.
Another topic now....Halloween. I love this day so much. Free candy is always a bonus. But I think it's just so much fun to dress up, be scared, be social. I've seen sooo many of my friends today that I don't get to see on a normal basis. It's fabulous.
And I love seeing the costumes. People get sooo creative. Sure, you have the normal girls who decide to be even more skanky than usual, but besides that, the costumes are so fun. My friends Steve and Matt were Jay and Silent Bob. It took me forever to figure out why Steve was wearing a blonde wig and ski cap. Durrrrrh. :p 4 people from VA dressed up as the Ninja Turtles using various items from their rooms. It was quite creative and funny. Christy was a "pretty pretty princess" in a prom dress she borrowed. She looke really cute. But honestly, if I had heard that damn "pretty pretty princess" line one. more. time.......
Oh--and Hannah was a purple crayon. Props to her for creativity. Very cool. And I'm amazed how many guys dressed in drag. Quite a few from my house did it, and looked pretty decent. And there were a ton more at the Shamrock. Quite amusing.
Yay. I'm not feeling too grumpy anymore. But I'm gonna just chill here on my couch. I'm contemplating watching Harry Potter. I think it's a perfect Halloween movie. *grin*
Oh--a little note. It's fucking snowing. I hate it. I loathe it. But of course it's not Halloween in the UP without the perpetual snowstorm. Ugh.
Anyways....ciao dahling!
~*Krissy*~
Livin' Out My RockStar Fantasy To: "Never Ever" by All Saints (Listenin' to my "Songs for a Rainy Day" mix--it's nice and soothing, perfect to chill out to)
Crush du Jour:Intellectual guy and Sex God--2 guys that aren't famous for once!!!! *grin*
Happy Thought of the Moment: all the cute costumes, my kick-ass costume, being done with the law exam, free candy, Adam Sandler's "Gimme Some Candy" commentaries, my raindy day mix, snow angels, hot cocoa (my major craving right now), fun pix, looong naps, hoodies, warm flannel jammies, Your Song from Moulin Rouge (damn Ewan can siiiiiing!), short meetings, judging houses, dancing with friends, yummy punch, good dance music, "Lose Yourself", feather boas, acting the part of a punk-er, getting to be out-of-character for once, Harry Potter, strobe lights, watching drunken guys attempt to dance, friends, acting silly, pretty pink nail polish, fooooood (I'm starving), dancing