I hate that I don't get a chance to update every day or a gabillion times a day. Grr! Is it frustrating to anybody else? Does anybody actually read this thing semi-regularly? (And no I don't mean my fabulous friends who read this whenever they need to be entertained at work or bored in their rooms.....ok, so maybe I do mean you guys too, but still!)
So I feel like I need to vent (yeah yeah--even more), but I don't want to, y'know? I'm apprehensive to vent...how about that? Yeah, I want to hold back, because I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings.
I guess all I'm going to say is that I figured out that I can be highly insecure when it comes to friendships. That's the jist of it. I'm happy my friends are so tight. I just really am not so very happy when they're tight without me around. And I can't always be around, seeing that I'm in a different hall with a more demanding job. It's kind of aggravating. I mean, some of my friends I BARELY see at all. Emily I rarely see--but this isn't about her. And a couple of my best friends I rarely see either cuz they're in other halls and have boyfriends and lives, too. It sucks. But the point I'm really driving at is....I don't know. I hate to be excluded. And I don't think that that is really the case right now. I'm certain that that isn't the case. I guess I'm just jealous cuz they get to spend as much time together as they want and I can't really do that with my chaotic life.
Don't get me wrong--I spend as much time with the people I love as possible. But its not half as much as I spent before this year, before this job, before this quasi-new life.
And it feels like I'm out of the loop sometimes--little jokes, certain songs they collapse from laughter about, plans that I can't make it to, plans they let me in on after the planning is all said and done and executed. I no likey that.
But what can I do? I love them and I don't want to really hurt them or make them think less of me. (Although I'm sure they'll read this. You know I love you guys.)
Is this immature? Infantile? Insecure?
Who knows.
I had a major meltdown in my boss's office yesterday. All of my stress from this week just culminated: lack of sleep, stress, Law class exam jitters, project stress, job stuff, people stuff. I just bawled.
You know how good it feels to just bawl like a newborn and not care. Just cry and cry and cry and know it feels good to let it all out? It was like sheer heaven. I hadn't felt that good in a loooong time.
I'm better now.
I think mostly it was PMS and stress from damn Communication Law class.
THAT class is a bitch. I HATE it. There's a reason I'm not becoming a lawyer, thankyouverymuch! Grr. I mean, I know it's good to know about the law so you don't get sued up the ass when you're working, but still! Any good company you go to is going to have a law department or at least a lawyer-consultant for a reason. Duh.
I had an exam in there today. If there's a God in heaven, I passed with a C. Please please please. I'll take a vow of silence if I get an A....really.
I'm gonna go to bed. Me tired. Need sleep.
Yay for the weekend and sleeping in! =)
Ciao and sweet dreams, dahling!
~*Krissy*~
Livin' Out My Rockstar Fantasy To: More than a Feeling by NSync--soooo much better than the retarded hair band 80s version
Crush du Jour: Don't know if I should really say....I'll say Intellectual Guy
Happy Thought of the Moment:Buff Eminem, Rolo's, ditzy days, fun meetings, cute glasses, lazy days, skipping class (my bad--oops), hoodie weather, The NorthWind, chocolate bread, popcorn, slobby days, being done with one stupid exam, Katy coming for 2 nights (!!!), Sweet Home Alabama opening today, Chick Flick Night, cute nail polish, fun posters, lots and lots of Krissy Kash