I am severely grossed out by my tap water. It's always cloudy when I want to drink it. Like right now--I'm sweaty, I'm thirsty, I want water, dammit.
I did it. I went and visited my dad. It wasn't a complete failure. It was an arousing success either. I showed him my scrapbook and told him all about what was going on in my life: about the significant events, about how proud I was of my Mortar Board induction and being elected chair of NAE.
He just doesn't seem to care. He was more concerned with Bingo and getting donuts from the VFW people. Every other word out of his mouth was about going back to Bay Cliff and he only truly seemed excited about my life when I told him about the SLFP retreats there.
I'm not hurt, I'm not surprised. I just wish he would have been a little excited about me sharing my life with him. Isn't that what he wanted for so long? Maybe I missed the boat. Or maybe he truly doesn't care what happens to me. I tried explaining about my career and how hard it's going to be to find a job when I graduate next year. As I told him, his expressionless face didn't change until he thought of another Finlander joke to tell me.
I'm not hurt by this. Ultimately, I feel...blank. I just feel a bit lost now. I guess I was hoping I'd feel a little more complete if I opened up to my dad. I was hoping for the beginning of a new relationship, a new chapter in my life, another puzzle piece to make sense of my life. A brick lifted from my emotional baggage, so to speak. I didn't want my world to change, I just wanted a bit of clarity and hope. The big picture just didn't predict that for today though.
Ciao dahling!
~*Krissy*~
Livin' Out My RockStar Fantasy To: "I Don't Wanna Be" by Gavin DeGraw
Crush du Jour: Johnny Depp
Happy Thought of the Moment: good mixes, cool breezes, learning the lyrics to La Vie Boheme, fun nights out with friends, anti-dads day dinner tonight, accoustic John Mayer, new scrapbooking stuff