I just realized how exciting it is to have an entirely blank entry in front of me. It's almost like a new beginning.
Either that or I'm a massive dork.
I found the best mix just now. It was in one my cd holders and it wasn't labeled. I just began blaring it at the front desk. Turns out it's an old-school r&b/pop mix from the late 80s-early 90s. It's wicked awesome. "I Adore Mi Amore" by, um...I can't remember who is on right now. I forgot I had even burned this cd, so it's like Christmas for me right now. Woo woo!
Also: Mountain Dew and Nacho Cheese Doritos = lunch of the Gods.
I was hanging out with some friends the other night and we were goofing off and taking pictures and just having fun. One of my friends was acting dorky with me during our photo shoot and he mentioned something about me "almost being his first girlfriend at NMU."
Pause and rewind.
I was stunned for 3.2 seconds A: he was one of my closest friends my freshman year. B: we had the weirdest relationship--it was honestly borderline on a serious thing. I felt like sometimes we were about half a second away from making out. C: I had no idea that he felt the same way that I did at the time.
I'm kind of irked. I had a hunch that this was the case, but I'm usually SO off when it comes to guys that I ignored my gut.
And not that I wanted him to be anything more than a good friend (hindsight is such a godsend sometimes...), but the fact that this little factoid from freshman year has come back to bite me in the arse a bit both amuses and stuns me.
So since then I've been thinking. (And this is now officially going to turn into another whiny entry. Just a warning.) I'm quite frustrated with the concept of love and relationships in general. Or maybe it's just guys. Who knows. At any rate, I'm frustrated. I'm a good person. Sure I'm a slight lush and I run my mouth and I *gasp* smoke the occassional cigarette and have a worse cursing vocabulary than the entire US naval force put together. And I'm no model, but I think I'm pretty cute. And I have ambitions and goals--chances are I'm not going to run the world, but I'm probably not going to end up living out of a fridge box either. (Hopefully...) Plus I have a great circle of friends and confidants, which means that I'm not entirely socially inept.
So why then do I not have a boyfriend? (And this is purely theoretical right now, because at this current moment I'm just attempting to get through this semester alive.) I seem to have the criteria that guys are "allegedly" looking for--at least from all the stupid magazine articles I've read.
I have a lot of boy *space* friends and they're completely awesome, I love them dearly. But why not someone to just share the little things with? To cuddle and watch The Simpsons with and to be uber-happy when I don't fail a Communication Theory quiz. To just share the little intimate things.
So I'm good as a friend, confidant, therapist, matchmaker, entertainer and even "almost girlfriend" but not as a girlfriend? That doesn't make any sense.
To quote dear Erin V: the universe hates me.
Ciao dahling!
~*Krissy*~
Livin' Out my RockStar Fantasy To: "I Want You To Want Me" by Cheap Trick (huh....kind of ironic, no?)
Crush du Jour: none really
Happy Thought of the Moment: cute delivery boys, happy mailmen, Mountain Dew, this mix I'm rockin' out to, my sparkly Union Jack t-shirt, flip flops, pretty white snow (even though I want it to go away), playing with makeup, my Tina Fey-esque glasses