I am afraid right now. I'm kind of at a loss for words. My mom hasn't been feeling well lately. For one thing, she has rheumatoid arthritis and that gets her down sometimes cuz she can't move around as well as she used to--and that kills her. She's been better lately cuz she's been on some IV treatment that is really working miracles. She also has chronically severe asthma. Both of these are triggered by stress. Which she has had a lot of lately.
THEN...to top that off, she's been sick with some sort of virus of the stomach for the past week and a half. It just won't let up. So she's been going to the doctor trying to figure out what is wrong. They thought it was mild food poisoning. They've pretty much ruled that out. They keep running tests and they can't figure out what is wrong. Which is incredibly frustrating to her and to me.
She went to the doctor again today. The news wasn't too good. They may have to hospitalize her for a couple of days to run tests and make her fever break. She isn't feeling too well, but she won't just sit and chill out. She just keeps on going. Damn her sometimes.
So I'm kind of worried about her right now. I don't understand why she's so sick and why she's not getting better. And the hospital--it just seems like such a scary place. The last time she was there was when she developed her asthma and couldn't breathe. That was when I was in 6th grade. That was hard enough seeing her lying there helpless, only able to breathe with the help of a machine. Now if she has to go, she gets to lie there helpless again while doctors take her blood and force her to drink fluids and attempt to figure out what the hell could possibly be wrong with her.
I'm trying to be strong for her. I told her that it'd be a good thing if she HAD to go to the hospital. Cuz that'd help to speed recovery. But at the same time, the hospital has a sense of finalty, of death. Which is NOT something that I want to think about--not now, not later, not ever. I don't care if that sounds immature. I love my mom so much, and I don't want to think about losing her. She's my inspiration.
I should really go, leave the phone line open for her for when she gets home. Both of her doctors have called, and she's gotta call them back. I don't think that that can be a good thing. I'll keep you updated. Just keep your fingers crossed. Ciao, dahling!
~*Krissy*~