My hands are sticky from retarded smelly super-glue, my bathroom floor is a lot skeezier than I expected it to be, and my throat is a little sore. These are my observatoins of the past moment. It could be a poem.
It's funny--ever since I started my poetry class, I've found that almost anything could be a poem. Leslie and me walking to class--that could be a poem. Crazy prof--great poem. Cute kids--inspiration for a poem. Dirty floor--yup, that too could be poetry. I think my mind is more open to the possiblities of beauty because of this class. Which I am sooo grateful for. Because a lot of times I think that I'm so busy and stressed and rushed that I don't think about the small stuff, the stuff that really does matter, that really can impact you if you just let it. You just have to be open to that possibility that your life is beautiful and can be impacted in so many various and wonderful ways--ways you'd never expect or think that it would. It's kind of mind-blowing. And really humbling.
Ain't I the philosophical one tonight? *grin* I like to get that way every once in a while. Honestly, life is so mind-blowingly gorgeous to me. Especially right now, since I'm STILL riding that wonderfully high tide of happiness and sheer bliss. Lalala. I'd apologize to all you pesimistic drones out there who loathe life, but I won't because I don't think you should hate life. Celebrate it because it's a gift.
I think the reason I'm so inspired is because of Will Keim--whom I mentioned yesterday. He's so awesome. I wish that I had the power to inspire and excell like him. He is just so gifted. He motivates (but not in the "I live in a van down by the river" kind of way), inspires, makes you laugh, makes you think, question. He's just great. If you ever have a chance to hear him speak GO LISTEN. You won't regret it. I swear.
He spoke to my SLFP Leadership class tonight. I heard him twice yesterday, but I knew what he'd have to tell us "future leaders" would be priceless. Oh yes.
For one thing, he got us--the busy ones, the stressed ones. Manda and I nearly cried we were laughing so hard. "Lala--I'm home from class. Click--on with the tv, dial my voicemail check my messages while I turn my computer on to check the email. Click--on with the tunes while I attempt to eat something all at the same time as I'm yelling down the hall and trying to do homework." It was so right on. I can relate all too well. Cuz that's exactly what I do every single day when I get home from class. Kinda scary.
But he said something that really struck a chord with me. OK, so pretty much everything he said got to me, but this particularily: you have a gift, a chance to really shine--figure out your passion and go for it. Have goals in life--have huge goals in life and go for them. And when you fail, bring them in so that you can succeed and you can shine.
Really powerful.
At least I think so. Wow.
It got me thinking. And I've thought about the whole passion thing before. So I won't go into that again. Because I've just decided that for a working definition, my passion can be life in general, and that if people complain, I'll say that being happy is my passion--the pursuit of happiness, baby. Good passion, right? I thinky so!
Anyways....Will told us to make a list of our goals and then to go for them. He asked us "what are you doing to make your dreams come true? What are you doing TODAY to make your dreams come true?" And I thought....I don't know. I honestly don't know. I'm just living, and surviving and laughing and loving really.
I don't think I know what my dreams really are. How scary is that?
So I've decided to make a list of my dreams. (And DON'T laugh, because some of them are trivial, but I want to do them at some point in time.)
~Work at MTV: the big dream of mine, since I am a music-guru-in-training. Why not work at the heart of the music industry? Make an impact on pop culture, make some people happy. Sounds good to me.
~Work in the music industry in general: kind of a backup plan in case the MTV thang just doesn't work out. Hehe. I just love music.
~Be happy: just in general. Which I am, so I guess I am achieving my dreams.
~See the world: there's sooo much out there to see and experience. I want to kiss under the stars of the Eifle Tower, I want to run with the bulls in Pampolona, I want to meditate with Tibetan Monks, I want to roam the lush hills of Ireland and ride the gondolas of Italy, dance with the Russians, see penguins in the South Pole, go on a African safari--you get the picture. I want to see as much as I possibly can. I want my senses to be dazzled and overloaded.
~Learn to play bass: bass players just have this attitude when they play--I want to just jam with them, and if I could go one song without cracking a smile, I'll consider myself successful.
~Learn to spin: along the music lines....yeah, I want to spin and scratch. And I know it's difficult and an art form of sorts. I wanna learn. I want to get people to dance and celebrate. It's just fun.
~Not be stuck in the UP: I am NOT living here after college. Mark my words. It's like hell up here with closed-minded people, suburban sprawl, and 8 months of vast white snowdrifts. Not cool. Not that I won't come back to visit. I just want to experience life outside the UP.
~Live in a big city: saaay....Chicago or New York. Whenever I tell people this (and it doesn't matter who, cuz they ALL do this and it annoys the FUCK out of me)they all scoff, laugh and say that it's a lot different than here. Well NO SHIT SHERLOCK. Ya think? Why the hell do you think I want to do it? To experience life, to see what it's like cuz I've never had that. I know it's hard. I know it's expensive and cutthroat and demi-dangerous. THAT'S what is sooo damn appealling. And I will, dammit. Mark my words. If only to show all those people that I CAN.
~Be myself: I know this doesn't sound like a dream, but I realize that a lot of people lose focus or sight of who they really are as they grow older and get sucked into their career and life. And that's scary. I hope that I always know who I am, what I like, what I think--just am always in tune with myself. Just be empowered I guess. I don't want to have some sort of mid-life crisis because I didn't know if I would rather have a beer or glass of red wine.
~Be strong: shit happens. Shit has happened. I just hope that I have the strength and courage to go on and know things will get better. I don't ever want to wimp out on myself, my friends and family, or on life. It's just cowardly to do that. Strength is good. And it's one of my dreams because it's not easy to be strong all the time.
~Be a role model: if I can impact just one person positively in my life, help somebody out, then my life will have been a success. Which is why I'm sooo envious of teachers and would-be teachers because they can impact hoards of kids throughout their career. It's an amazing thing. I just hope that somebody somewhere thinks that I'm amazing enough to look up to or that I can help somebody down a positive road in their life.
I think that's a pretty decent list. Yeah...it's good for right now. My brain hurts from racking it for this thingy. Hehe
Now for some lighter stuff.
Quote of the day:
"PORN! I need PORN!" Oh just guess who you may have think said this little gem. Tick tick tick. Nope, not a resident. Tick tick. Nope, not a fellow staffer. Tick. Nope, not one of my guy friends.
It was my PR professor Wally. It was sooo unexpected too. He was telling about the monks that he lived with (cuz his brother's a monk) for a week. And he said that was about all he could take. Then he kind of shouted that at us.
It was quite funny. And really really unexpected. I never thought I'd hear that come from Wally's mouth. He's a mid-40's grey-haired, wirey guy. He's great. He's funny. Just didin't think I'd see the day when he shouts that in front of a couple dozen kids (20 of them being girls). Quite humorous.
I got fabulous news today: I don't have any classes on Thursday. Lalalaaaaa. At all. Lalaaaaa. I'm sooo giddy. So that means that after my one class tomorrow, it's officially the weekend for Krissy! Yay yay yay! Excuse me while I do my happy-happy-joy-joy celebratory dance to the gods of all things good and pure.
Life is great.
Aight me tired. Exhausted. Need sleeeeeeep.
Ciao, dahling!
~*Krissy*~
Livin' Out My RockStar Fantasy To:"Back to Life" by Soul2Soul (old skoool r&b--gotta love it)
Crush du Jour:Ewan McGregor
Happy Thought of the Moment:priceless quotes, study buck rounds, Togo's subs, Cherry Coke, being motivated, guest speakers, comfy jammies, internet not being down, laughing till you cry, newer SNL's on Comedy Central, Justin Timberlake, new issue of Cosmo, fabulous residents, fun voicemails, 4-day weekends, road trips, cute hats, hoodies, good hair days, chilling out, free shit, super glue (but not on your hands--grr), Harry Potter (out in exactly ONE MONTH--eeeee EM!!!), being done paying bills, fun wallpapers, silly classmates, short class periods, long naps, fuzzy slippers, kid's meal toys