The rumbling outside is so completely delicious. I can't help but smile and shiver when I hear it. Too fabulous. I can't even begin to describe how thrilled it makes me feel.
Also--my tongue is numb. This cannot be good. Maybe the NyQuil has something to do with that. Hmm.
I think it's starting to kick in. Whee. God bless over-the-counter medications. Whee!
So as scary as this is to confess, I think my biological clock is kicking in. I'm 21. I'm a college girl. I cannot even fathom this right now. At all. I'm 21. This. Is. Sick.
Alright, I realize that many girls (um, women?) have had children at my age...and even younger. But still. I think it's sick and wrong. Its like sentencing yourself to a life of doom where you're stressed and the only job you can get comes with a cap and the statement "you want fries with that." Beyond scary. At least in my head. We all know that I want much much more to life than that.
But I can't deny that there's a little tinge in my heart whenever I see little kids. There was a party of little girls at McDonalds today and they were completely adorable. They were all giggly and hyper and uber-cute. And every time I see a little kid I have to smile and wave and make faces at him or her because they respond to me. The grins I get in return are completely priceless. There's no denying that I adore children.
It hit me head-on as I was watching Cheaper by the Dozen tonight. I've always said that I don't want children. But as I was watching this I began thinking that maybe a few kids wouldn't be so bad. Maybe it'd make life seem more...fulfilled. Exciting. Interesting. Full. Something.
This charming little epiphany scares the shit out of me. Because I don't think I'd really make a good parent. I'm egotistical and selfish. I live for me. I don't know that I'd want to live for another person (except maybe my soulmate--whoever he is). I certainly don't want to go through the pains of carrying around a kid for nine months and the agony of then bringing it into the world. Hell. No.
For some people, this is their dream--get married, have kids, do the whole suburban thang. Rock on. I respect anyone who wants to parent. It's a tough job, I'm sure of it.
What I don't get is why suddenly my little clock is telling me I should when my brain is screaming and craving adventure. It's quite the confusing conundrum.
And really not something I want to think about right now.
Krissy--mother of three.
Krissy--diva of the world.
Call me crazy, but I like the second one a lot better.
Fuck my uterus. I'm gettin' surgery. Maybe that will shut up my biological clock.
All I'm saying is that I'm a little confused right now. Here's hoping that its the cold and medication battling it out in my body. Gaah.
In other, happier news I finished Princess in Pink today. Boo-yah! Now Em and Amanda can battle it out to see who gets to borrow it first. It's good. I love brain drains. Another fabulous thing. Hurrah for that and thunderstorms. The combination is orgasmic.
Ciao, dahling!
~*Krissy*~
Livin' Out My RockStar Fantasy To: Lilo and Stitch the Series
Crush du Jour: Tom Welling
Happy Thought of the Moment: fun frothy books, hot showers, feeling much better, fun meetings, being the new director of communications in MB, free food, NAE banquet, good lotion, playing with makeup, pizza, wonderful friends, good movies, SNL