For once I'd like to have a phone conversation with my mom that doesn't make me tear up when I hang up.
I hate feeling helpless. I hate this feeling of powerlessness that always washes over me when I talk to her. It's why I only call once a week. The rest of the time I'm trying to pretend that things are alright on the homefront.
I wish that things could just be alright. It almost was for a brief time last year, last summer/fall. Then it all fell down. Again. Life is too cyclical for me sometimes.
And if life is cyclical, am I destined to have a life like my mom's? I want more than that. It sounds horrible, but I never want the financial problems that she has. I guess curbing my spending habit is one way to go, huh?
I realize that this is my baggage. We all have problems that we must face. This is mine. I love and adore my mom, but I hate how helpless I feel all the time. Part of me wants to be done with college so I can help her. I just want to fix things. That's all.
Is that too much to ask?
Ciao, dahling!
~*Krissy*~