Ok, so I'm still pissy.
I can't believe that I just deleted that whole damn entry. I guess that it just wasn't meant for the world to see it.
BUT I think what I'm gonna write about now is worth retyping and adding stuff to.
So here goes......................
So to start with, the weather today was absolutely gorgeous. Not too hot, not too chilly. Mid-80s, cool playful little breeze. Absolutely PER-FECT.
A bunch of my girls were headin' to the beach. I declined cuz I had plans. My big day? Seeing "Lilo and Stitch" for the 4th time.
K, I'm totally not complaining, cuz I adore this movie so much. Soooo much. It's one of my favorites. Stitch never fails to make me laugh my ass off. It's just fabulous. And I saw it with Em and Sarah--also quite fabulous. It was a lot of fun.
BUT my girls beached it without me. Not like I expected them to wait for me or anything. But they were gone ALLLLL freakin' day. I'm thinking they didn't get home until like after sunset. I still have yet to actually communicate with any of them about their excursion.
Aparrently, they met a gorgeous guy. A gorgeous, buff, sweet guy from the sounds of it. (At least that's what I got from her AIM away message) Which is quite awesome. I'm very psyched for her. You go, girl! Woo hoo!
What I'm wondering is: when is it going to be MY turn to meet a gorgeous, funny, sweet guy? How much longer do I have to wait to meet Mr. Right (or Mr. Right-Now at least?)? Have I not been GOOD enough? Am I paying for something wrong I did in a former life? Am I just not good enough? Am I not lovable or cute enough? Am I heinous and just don't see it? What the FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME? Do I not deserve to find a cute guy who'll fall madly in love with me?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I am BEYOND frustrated.
I know lots of guys. I've met even more guys cuz of my new job. No prospects. Nada. Nill. Not that I really expected any. I think I'm just gonna give up.
I'm sick of games. I'm sick of immature antics.
I swear to God, I'll marry the first guy that just walks up to me and says point-blank "I like you, let's go out." Cuz with my life, that never happens.
What do I get? Games, confusion, more games, a broken heart, more games, frustration....did I mention games yet?
That's what my life seems like: one big fucking game.
I think God did this to me on purpose. When I was being made, God picked out the ingrediants, mixed them all together, then decided that I was going to have an added bonus: a flat-lined love life full of game-playing and frustration--just for His and the world's entertainment.
Well I'm not laughing.
Just once I'd like to be the heroin. The one to fall madly in love, live happily ever after.
I'd even settle for a whirl-wind romance that ended after a couple of months, a semester, a year. Whatever.
When is it going to be MY turn?
In other related news: I saw my crush yesterday. He's so adorable. That's all that I'm gonna say on that subject. I'm pesimistic about my love life and the grand scheme of it, but at the same time I'm semi-optimistic about this. A glimmer of hope remains. A flick, a tiny flame.
Glow on, hope, glow on.
(Is any of this making sense? Cuz when I vent, it seems like I only make sense to myself....if that.)
I'm gonna go and try to make sense of my chaotic life.
Ciao, dahling!
~*Krissy*~
Livin' Out My RockStar Fantasy To: Bette Davis Eyes--I made an 80s cd earlier this week. I ADORE 80s music!
Crush Du Jour: Mr. Crush (mmmmm)
Happy Thought of the Moment: Silly phone calls, gorgeous weather, miracle sick drugs,the Disney Channel, my cd burner, the VMAs, Jimmy Fallon, Trading Spaces, cool breezes, late-night BK runs, my red hair, orange juice, my fabulous residents, no classes tomorrow (!!!), overage checks, unexpected IM's from certain people, cool showers, STITCH, black and white photography