So I've been thinking a lot about guys lately. I know I know--it seems like that is all that I really think about, especially when it comes to writing in here. It seems like all I do is piss and moan and bitch and complain about guys and how much they suck. I promise, I promise I PROMISE that I won't bitch about them that much (if at all) after this entry. Really.
I, Krissy, solemnly swear to not have guys on the brain 24/7. Or if I do, to not constantly and consistently talk about them. And most importantly, I will not piss and moan about them and how I can never get one. Cross my heart and hope to die....
And, really, if you hear me doing this, you reserve the right to bitch slap me or to attempt to strangle me. Really. (So this really only goes for those of you who see me on a semi-regular basis, cuz those of you who don't can't really do anything from far away, now can you? :P)
So I've been thinking that I am obsessive. I just can't shake my crush that I've had for the past half a year or so. I've tried. It just hasn't worked. I don't know why. I don't understand why I still like Mr. Crush. I just do. Today I thought I saw him at the library and I nearly had a heart attack cuz I was so damn giddy. Pretty sad.
But I've decided something. I'm just going to go into a mode where I don't care one way or another. See, I have this....I don't know what the fuck you'd call it....disorder? Mental disease? Who knows. Anyways, what it is is that I meet a guy, talk to him for a couple of minutes, then realize that he's cool and decide that maybe I'd have a chance with him and he could be Mr. Right...or Mr. Right-Now at least. It's pretty scary--at least I seem to think so. And then I get all pissy cuz inevitably, I find out that guy-of-the-moment has a girlfriend or whatever. Some circumstance where I'd have no chance. And then I fall into this short-term funk where I loathe my life and torment about how I'll never find a guy.
It sucks. This little quirk/disorder/disturbance of mine really really sucks. I hate it. And it's not like I even really mean to do it 99% of the time, it just happens. I hate it. Cuz I hate ending up inevitably loathing myself, cuz I really do love me.
But that's not really the point I'm trying to make here. The point is that from this point forward I am just going to be indifferent/neutral about guys. I'm just going to not really care.
Because, really, I DO NOT have time for a guy. Seriously, I don't have time to fucking BREATHE let alone go out or go boyfriend hunting. My life is one meeting or class after another. And when I do have free time, what do I do? I sleep. A boyfriend would most definitely not fit into that equation. Yup yup.
Don't get me wrong, at this moment, I really would like a boyfriend. I think it'd be so awesome to have somebody to cuddle with. But I really have no time or energy for a relationship.
Besides--from all of the relationships that I've witnessed, having a significant other is sooo completely overrated. They are a lot of work. Another stress. Another headache. Worth more stress than benefits...in my opinion.
Hannah and I decided that we are two hot chickies who have no time for bullshit relationships or bullshit guys who fuck with our minds. We realize that we are sooo much better than that crap. What we propose is to just have a friend with benefits. I think this is the best way to go for the both of us right now, because we're so swamped and drained. We don't have time for boyfriends. But a friend with benefits--can I just say what a fabulous concept that is? Because I'm really lovin' that idea right now.
I have no time, no energy, but I want to cuddle? Call in FWB (friend with benefits)! Hurrah!!!
Cheers to whoever invented this little concept, you are my new idol.
Christy doesn't like this idea of ours so much. That's cool. She realizes that you can get emotionally attached. Yes, I realize this. But it's worth the risk I think, because I don't think I'd have a FWB who I wasn't fond of. And I'd think that if I did develop feelings, I'd be mature enough to deal with them. I'll just say I'd cross that bridge when I came to it.
Wow, I just realizes that I sound like a complete bitch/snob/super-slut. Ahh! That's not cool. Cuz I'm sooo not any of these things.
Ladies, I'm sure you can relate to all the things I've said. And if none of you can understand what the fuck I'm talking about, I'm just gonna say that I'm really tired. I'm headed for a nap...
Ciao, dahling!
~*Krissy*~
Livin' Out My Rockstar Fantasy To: "Gotta Get Through This" by Daniel Beddingfield--I really enjoy this song, it's so fun!
Crush Du Jour: none, since I'm now so-very empowered!!!
Happy Thought of the Moment: It's the weekend (!!!), naps, being done with my office hours, burned cds, my new mix, my happy book part II, Tommy's Tale, naps, beautiful fall weather, my friends, italian sodas, the coffeehouse, my PR peeps