The Seven Mary Three concert was tonight. My big confession is that I really had no idea who they were. I had to look them up on ubl.com to have any clue who they were. The concert kicked ass. For me not really being into the grungy-alternative scene when it was big (huh...what a surprise), I highly enjoyed the concert. I may look into investing in cds of theirs. Perhaps.
A couple of observations/lessons from the night:
A.) my eyes don't like heavy eyeliner. Even though I think I look pretty damn good with it on, my eyes hurt like mother-fuckers at various times during the night. It may have had to do with the smokey atmosphere as well, but I think the whole coal-lined rock-goddess look didn't fare well with my sensitive eyes. Dammit. I think I need to invest in hypo-allegenic liner. Then maybe I can try the look again.
B.) my apartment is making weird noises right now. That has nothing to do with tonight, but it's freaking me out. It sounds like a ratchet cranking or something. I hear it every night and every night I think that some psycho-killer is out to drive me insane and murder me. Or something.
C.) I hate the dance floor. Correction--I hate drunken rude people on the dance floor. Which I probably should expect at a bar. But I don't think I should expect to have beer flung around and douse me. Which is what happened. Eau de Budweiser is not a good scent for me. Grr.
D.) I'm sick of the bar scene. I really am. It's the same thing all the time. I look cute, I go out and laugh and have fun with friends, they all get hit on, I don't. I'm the "almost" girl, the over-looked one, the wallflower. This isn't meant to be a pity party, it's just an observation that I made tonight. It happened to be cemented a couple of times throughout the night as well.
And not that I want to be hit on by the skeezes and horn-dogs, but a girl cannot live on friendship alone. It's nice to know that you look cute and then have it reiterated when a guy buys you a drink or dances with you or even just looks at you the right way. Am I wrong for wanting that?
I'm a damn fine girl. And I don't want to turn this all Stuart Smalley or anything. I just know that I'm smart and funny and cute. Not that grades or extracurriculars count for anything, but my GPA's pretty stellar and I'm highly involved and social. On paper, in theory, guys should be lining the block to date me. Too bad the only ones that are are gay.
(A conversation with Aaron tonight ended with him going "what is your type? Gay?" As funny as that was, it hurt because of how truthful it is. Not that I don't adore all of my rainbow boys because I do. That's simply not the point tonight.)
I'm just so tired of it. I love LOVE going out with my friends and having a good time. I'm always up for that. It's the constant urge and pressure to connect with someone that I loathe about the bars. I can just feel the sexual pressure and tension when I step in a bar. Every guy wants to find the hottest girl and vice versa--it's just human nature. I'm just tired of it. All the guys dress the same (Abercrombie button-down, baggy jeans, gelled hair *yawn*), they all say the same thing, they all want the same thing.
Why do I feel like crap?
I just want to connect with someone. That doesn't happen at the bars. And when you feel like you do, it's more than likely the alcohol talking.
I just hate that I feel like this. It shouldn't be a downer to go out. It should be the opposite. From now on, it's me. Having fun. Not caring. Just me. No horn-dogs, no clone guys, no worrying.
This should be interesting.
Ciao, dahling!
~*Krissy*~
Livin' Out my RockStar Fantasy to: "Counting Blue Cars" by Dishwalla
Crush du Jour: I don't give a fuck at the moment
Happy Thought of the Moment: sleep,comfy clothes, looking hot, hugs, dancing, hanging out with Chrissy, funny moments, great friends, clarity