I didn't make a Christmas list this year. I didn't wish on any stars for anything or submit a letter to Santa via the very good Make-a-Wish event going on at Macy's. It's not because I didn't want to. On the contrary, it probably would have helped center me and segue me into the holiday season. I didn't write a list this year because I didn't want to.
I spent the months leading up to the holiday season dreading December. I volunteered to stay on-campus and be on-duty. It was voluntary and I did not need to do it. But I did, then realized soon after that that might mean I wouldn't get to see my family. And the drama leading up to December played on my emotions, leaving me breathlessly sobbing at times and completely frustrated because I truly thought I'd be all alone on Christmas.
And I was. But. I was ok with that.
I was fine with that fact because I felt so loved before Christmas that I'm still glowing a week and a half after my family drove up to visit me. After all of the drama (and if you're a good friend you've heard about the damn drama, which I will not even waste the energy on explaining it), all the frustration, all the prayers, my mom and my sister came to see me the weekend before Christmas. And though their time with me was brief, it was an incredible gift because the gesture was so completely huge. My mom, who has never driven on freeways or outside of Michigan, braved winter weather and unknown roads to come and see me. Hugging her was hands-down one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. The visit paled next to the gifts they brought (which included a pair of diamond studs, by the way). I felt incredibly blessed and humbled that they had rearranged their lives to come and see me in mid-Minnesota. And I was so happy to open up my new home and show off my campus to them.
My heart is still overflowing with gratitude for my family. I feel so loved, so valued by them. I woke up on Christmas morning smiling because, although I was alone, they were still with me. I didn't write a Christmas list this year because I was afraid I wouldn't get the one thing I truly wanted and needed. But I got everything I needed and so much more. Even though it wasn't on the 25th, this will go down as one of my best Christmases ever.