This isn't a day meant to be about chocolates or sickly sweet candy hearts.
This isn't a day meant to be about bad poetry adorned by cute cartoons or shiny glitter inside of cards.
This isn't a day meant to be about over-priced presents or elaborate bouquets.
Instead this is a day that is meant to remind us of love. Love in all forms: romantic, platonic, friendship, familial and, yes, self-love.
What started off as probably a good idea--to set aside a day where people can state their feelings intentionally and perhaps in a special way--has morphed into a holiday jaugernaut where chocolatiers and card writers earn the majority of their yearly pay. More than that, though, people feel forced express emotion and celebrate the holiday and those alone end up feeling alone and shitty because they don't have anyone to bring them (over-priced) flowers or chocolates. It seems like a lose-lose situation. A holiday should never make anyone feel bad, but that is what this day does--it drives a stake between the haves and have-nots and makes everyone acutely aware of their status.
This is my first single Valentines Day in three years. This was a special day for my ex and I. And it felt good being with someone, doing all the stupid holiday things like feeding chocolates to each other and buying cheesy cards for one another. It felt good to be loved, wanted, desired. To pick out that damn card secure in the fact that I wasn't alone, I was validated on V-day because I was a part of a couple.
For the most part, though, this holiday has been spent single. Single does not mean alone. On the contrary, ever since I became aware of the sheer stupidity of the notion that being coupled equals validation, I've been vigilant and intentional in my holiday actions. This has meant everything from making cards for the ones I loved to inventing drinks with girlfriends to singing really bad karaoke at dive bars. I made it a point to celebrate myself and the ones I loved because romantic love is over-rated and frienship is under-rated.
Once coupled, though, I lost that intention and sentiment. It's easy to lose sight of yourself when you're falling in love. I lost a part of me. It's a part I'm still chasing and trying to recapture. A key part of finding it lies in today and what I do on this candy-laden holiday. I could lie around, pining for days gone by, missing the feeling of being in love. Or I could celebrate it, Krissy-style.
For the record, Krissy-style means giving my staff High School Musical valentines, whipping up an amazing taco salad for my friends and classmates, watching ridiculous comedies compliments of Will Ferrell and planning an evening of drinking with friends where we will look hot and only dance with each other.
It's only a matter of time until the self-love reaches an all-time high after that...