I've been thinking a lot about validation lately.
My non-fiction professor once said "everyone wants to feel validated." That was why people write--to have concrete proof that they have a voice.
Everyone does want to feel validated. I see it every day.
This older woman (mid-40s) I know only talks about herself. Every topic of conversation comes back to her somehow. At first I didn't realize that only "me me me" came from her mouth. At first I thought she was kind of endearing and maybe a bit on the crazy side. But the more she spoke, the more I realized that the conversations were one-sided. It was all about her and her problems or about her and her views on life or about....her. Always.
Everyone wants to feel validated. This woman does it by constantly talking about herself, even when others tune her out.
I met a man last week who is in love with the Packers. He's so in love with this team even, that he scarred his body for life with a tattoo of their logo. As our conversation progressed all talk turned, somehow, to the Pack, where he could talk for two weeks about all of the facts he knew about them. Our conversations turned one-sided as he described the games he'd been to, the players he'd met and his utter devotion to this team, while I sat there with a fake smile plastered on my face, praying that my eyes weren't too glazed over.
Everyone wants to feel validated. This man does through his love for this football team.
I have a friend who I love dearly. Great stories are told when this person is around. Laughter is shared and times are good. But, like the older woman, conversations revolve around her--not as much, but enough for me to notice. The anecdotes are amusing, but some may find them to wear thin when they're constantly one-sided.
Everyone wants to feel validated. Perhaps this person wants it from attention and love.
I want to feel validated. That's why I have this. It's more than an outlet--it's proof that I do exist and that I believe that my writing is good enough for others to see.
But while I want to feel validated, I want more than anything to not feel invalidated.
I know this person who, no matter how hard one tries, cannot be satisfied. People can try their hardest to please this particular individual, but to no avail. By not being able to please, people feel invalidated.
And that is where I am today.
...but it's a new month and I have new hope. (Not to mention truly amazing friends who let me cry and scream and bitch until I'm dehydrated and hoarse and no more words can come from my mouth.) If you're religious, please send out a prayer for me. If you're not--keep your fingers crossed for me. Because I don't want to be invalidated any longer.
Ciao, dahling!
~*Krissy*~