A professor of mine is famous in my cohort for always saying "trust the process." It was one of the first things he told us as nervous first-year students, crowded into a cramped classroom for orientation to the Student Affairs program. It was something he repeated weekly during class when we didn't make the connections between readings or when he sprung pop quizzes on us about non-cognitive variables and necessary elements of T-tests. "Trust the process" became an anthem and a motto for my friends and I, something we repeated while we crammed for SPSS tests and analyzed surveys though we had no freakin' clue what we were doing. It's something we chanted while studying for our certifying exam to ease our nerves, spoken as a way to ease our nerves and a prayer to the student affairs gods. And it's become something I've said more than once to my staff and students to help them cope with trials and tribulations.
It seems to have worked for them. One staffer, so nervous about not getting a transfer had multiple meetings with me about what could be done to secure her spot in a different learning environment and wrote and rewrote her application to get it just right. I helped as best as I could, mainly by repeating "trust the process" and giving glowing recommendations. When the transfer came through, she nearly cried with happiness. She trusted the process and did her best to help it along. And things panned out well for her.
Even more nervous was a graduating staffer who wanted to do what I do. Multiple conversations over the course of three or four months occurred to prepare him for the interview. Mock interviews were done with much apprehension on his end. He didn't know if he'd get it--especially when he was told that competition was more stiff this year than in previous years. I told him to trust the process and breathe. He just learned that he was hired. When he delivered the news the smile on his face was bigger than I'd ever seen; he was glowing. Trusting the process works.
Now if only I can convince myself of that. Despite all of the evidence--the staff successes, my own triumph over the certifying exam, even all the personal drama--I find myself restless and nervous. I'm in the midst of a job search, the culmination of my two years at State and a big reason why I wanted to return to school: to find meaningful work, to make a positive impact on the world. It's not just about finding a job, it's about finding a great "fit"--a place that will challenge me to grow while I'm helping others to do the same. So many factors play into this decision: location, size, the people, the student population, the type of school, start dates, professional development, the list goes on and on. I don't want to end up unhappy at my job like I did after graduating from Northern. I want to feel challenged and fulfilled. I want to make the right choice. I don't know if I trust myself yet to do that. I might trust the process that I have to go through to find what's right for me, but I don't trust myself quite yet. I don't know what I need to do to get there. But hopefully by following my professor's mantra I'll get there soon. And snag a great job to boot.