Dear people of Lansing,
It's great that you're all festive and in the holiday spirit and all. It's admirable. However. If any one of you mother-effers shoot off any more of those noisy, high-pitched, cheap-ass fireworks around my apartment building? You will not live to see another Fourth of July. You all should not be playing with fire anyway. I'm pretty sure you're going to hurt someone. And that someone will likely be me. Stop playing with the Walmart fireworks. Please. For my sanity's sake. That is all.
Sincerely,
An irked KiKi
Dear Walmart and Meijer and Target and any other store that sells fireworks,
Please stop. Just stop selling fireworks. Most of the people who buy them have IQs lower than a toddler. Do we really want people like that shooting off potentially harmful things in parking lots? Ack!
Sincerely,
A concerned KiKi