Listless [ July 06, 2009, 11:27 pm ]

Back in the day I used to list the things that made me happy/grateful at the end of my blog entries. I didn't do this for any particular reason; I just thought it was cute. I'm going to start this entry off by doing that because God knows I need to remember the things that make me happy right now (more on that in a bit).

Things that are making me happy at the moment: gorgeous, not-too-humid summer days; the fact that my hair is cooperating most days despite the fact that I need a haircut and color; the idea of starting my new job soon; my amazing friends; the fact that Kathy Griffin is writing a memoir--it needs to come out STAT; McDonald's sweet tea; crafting; my Masters Degree because nobody and no thing can ever take that away from me; my ever-growing bucket list; really good books (I recommend Prep and Love is a Mix Tape); the high I am still on from the No Doubt concert I was at on Friday (Gwen Stefani is a goddess and the entire bands' collective enthusiasm and energy will lift me for weeks to come); the fact that my mom uttered the words (and I QUOTE) "I am done being a prude! I'm not going to be a prude anymore I'm going to LIVE!" (and, no, I am not making this up); finally feeling rested after two years of grad school.

This list is a pretty good conglomeration of the things that I'm happy about. I am truly blessed. I have a good life. I'm about to start a good job and I feel good about where I am in life in general. However, I can say in no uncertain terms that this week is going to be hell for the following reasons:

a.) I'm PMS-ing.
b.) I'm trying to figure out the final details of my move.
c.) It's the, um, "anniversary" (I hate that word) of the breakup and attack. Awesome.

And to add to that list, what I've just found out today...

d.) Trying to upgrade my car is proving to be more difficult than I imagined because of my not-great credit coupled with the fact that even though I have a job waiting, it's up in Minnesota and apparently that makes the dealerships I visited today unwilling to help me. I'm going to repeat that because I don't quite believe them myself: CAR SALESMEN DON'T WANT MY MONEY. So. Unless I can find a cosigner for a loan (which I don't feel comfortable doing because I don't want to put anyone I love in an odd situation), win the lottery, come across my fairy godmother or find a dealership that'll help me I'll be attempting to take my lovely 1993 Grand Am up to the middle of Minnesota. LOVELY.

I shouldn't complain. I know I shouldn't. I'm very blessed and I am so grateful for everything that I have. I've heard so many stories of people who have so much more to worry about. My problems are merely momentary and I know they will work themselves out...or rather I know that they're in God's hands and that I have to trust Him. All I need to do is keep breathing and give it up to Him. But it's really hard do that when I'm such a nuerotic control-freak who must know what's going on every second of every day.

My summer has been a long lesson in patience. And this week is going to be the final exam. Is there a cribsheet somewhere that I can borrow? Please?

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