He did a double-take when I walked into the bar. I pretended not to notice as my friends and I entered my favorite bar, but I was flattered. I didn't think too much of it though because the next half hour was spent figuring out important details like where we'd sit, what we'd sing and good GOD, what kind of beer were we drinking?!?
Once we settled into some back tables and I had sipped a mug of beer or two, I realized that he was cute. Not in a conventional way, but in the dorky way I can never seem to resist. Plus, he was the karaoke DJ, so that was an added bonus in my book. He wasn't afraid to bust out singing rock songs and, as I soon found out after cheering loudly from the back, he was definitely not afraid to flirt with me via his close proximity to the microphone. He called me out several times for my cheering and screaming. All I could do was laugh. And glow a little inside because even though I was tipsy that whole evening I knew clearly that this man was straight-up flirting with me. In front of a large karaoke crowd at that.
When I went to hand in my first slips he asked why I looked familiar. I shrugged and said that I'd graduated from NMU and worked at a local retailer, but I'd since moved away. He couldn't stop grinning and looking me in the eye, like he maybe knew something about me I didn't. We later discovered that we had a mutual friend, but I think it was more his way of breaking the ice than anything.
Throughout the course of the evening he'd slide in snarky, flirty comments between singers and compliment me when I grabbed the mic. I was delighted--it had been a long time since someone had so blatantly flirted with me. My sister and friends weren't as impressed and teased me all night. But I didn't care--I looked and felt hot and I deserved to have a fun night of flirting, dammit.
Towards the end of the evening, I had a brilliant idea. This man is getting my phone number. It didn't matter that I was only in town for a few more days. And I didn't even care if he called or not. He was getting my number. I grabbed a slip to turn in.
Name: Krissy
Song number: 906 --- ----
Song title: Thanks for the fun night! Call me sometime.
I went to hand the slip in during last call. He looked sad as he informed me he probably couldn't get me in to sing again. I shrugged and told him to look at the slip, then walked off. Halfway back to my seat I snuck a glance at him. He wore a look that was both giddy and dumbstruck, like I was a goddess and he was not worthy. I met his gaze and grinned. Two minutes later my sister and friends pulled me from the bar citing a huge McDonalds craving as their main reason from pulling me from a karaoke love connection. It didn't matter--the look on the DJ's face stuck with me that night and even now, over a week later. It's a look that can simultaneously melt a girl and send shivers down her entire body. And it was a look directed at me for the first time in my life.
I still get shivers when I think about it. It was that great of a look. And it felt amazing to be on the receiving end of it.
I haven't heard from the DJ. In all honestly, I never expected to. And I'm completely fine with it. For me, just the fun flirting that occured over the course of the night was enough for me. It reminded me that I am desirable and adorable. And it's no coincidence that I chose to write about this moment on the anniversary of The Incident. Two years ago a vile man tried to break me. But he didn't. And while I still remember the details, I won't think of the day as such. Instead I'll think of it as the day I became a phoenix, rising from a despicable situation to reinvent myself as a woman who is stronger, more resiliant and a whole lot smarter than she was before that day. I'm so much better off now than I was when I was with him. Because I deserve double takes from cute guys and looks that send shivers down my spine. And I will have that. I won't settle for any less.