Hung Up [ August 29, 2006, 9:41 pm ]

I got into a fight with my dad the other day.

No, strike that. What I meant to say was I stood up for myself while my dad...well, while my dad didn't really say or do anything.

It had only occurred to me a few days prior to The Phone Call that I had never received a phone call from him on my birthday or anytime around the vicinity of my birthday. Usually he calls a month early to say "happy birthday, Muffin, I sure do love you" but this year June and July rolled past and there was no call. When the realization hit that I hadn't heard from him, I was hurt, but more annoyed than anything. Didn't I mean anything to him?

Then he called Saturday. The gist of the call went a little something like this...

Him: Hi honey. Can I have your sister's phone number?
Me: That's what you called for? Fine. Here.
Him: Ok. Great. Thanks, Muffin. I hope you're having a good day. Buh-bye--
Me: No no! Wait. That's it?!? That's all I get? A ten second call so you can get MY SISTER'S number? No "how are you"? No "happy belated birthday" even? Nothing? Did you even realize you didn't call me on my birthday?
Him No. (Long pause.) Happy birthday. I sure do miss you, kid.
Me: Um, obviously you don't. If you did you would have called or sent a card or something. My friends from all over the COUNTRY can drop what they're doing for five minutes and call, but my own dad can't? I think I'm sick of hurting. I think I'm sick of this. I gotta go.

And then I hung up on him.

Everything I said to him was true. I've tried my damnedest to have a relationship with that guy. I've visited, I've called, I've reported on the most minute details of my life and told him about things that have altered my universe. His reactions are always the same. "That's nice, sweetheart."

This latest episode just solidifies what I've known in my heart to be true for many years: I will never have a decent relationship with the one man that should play a major role (or at least a recurring role) in my life. It should sting to realize this, but the ache itself is dull since this has been a long time coming. Every time I talk with him, I come away a little bruised. But this time, instead of merely complaining about it or trying to alter it, I'm choosing a different route. I'm sick of making an effort when it appears that I'm the only one doing it. So this time? This time I'm hanging up.

And it feels rather nice, sweetheart.

Ciao, dahling!

~*Krissy*~

last - next

navigate
current
archives
profile
twitter
notes
host
design