I Want The Giddy Feeling Back [ March 14, 2005, 1:57 pm ]

And now I interrupt the Adventures of Krissy in London to bring you....

...a freak-out.

I got home yesterday to find a solitary message on my machine. It was from a guy who works for a Marquette-based company. They want to interview me for a position--he said he found my resume' on NMU's site. I called him today and we have an interview set up for Friday afternoon.

Yes, it could be an exciting thing.

The thing is though...

After my vacation, I really know that I don't want to stay in Marquette. It'd be nice to be close to family and to all of my friends that have yet to graduate after this semester--that'd be a huge bonus. But I really want to escape this void.

And maybe I'm jumping ahead of myself. I don't have the job. Hell, I haven't had the interview yet.

Yet, I have this knot in my stomach and I'm flipping out. This is my future we're talking about here.

Part of me is so afraid that if I get a job here I'll never leave the UP, I'll never see the world or pursue any of my goals. I don't want my desire to have a job to override all of the things that I want to accomplish in life.

This crossroads is scary. I feel like crying and vomitting and sleeping for large periods of time. I need comfort or solace or friends. But I also need to focus on the present--on getting this Lit midterm finished (or, um, started) and on writing my speech for the middle of the week.

I just feel so vulnerable. And I despise the fact that I feel this so soon after coming back from break. Welcome back, Real World. Now can I go back to my dreamworld?

Ciao, dahling!

~*Krissy*~

PS: if anyone's free Friday, there will be plans made. Mass amounts of alcohol will probably be consumed. Friends, I'm gonna need you later this week.

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