Lately I've been feeling introspective. It feels like meeting an old friend for the first time. I can't put my finger on why exactly I feel like I do, but I have a feeling it's because of the rapid rate of change that occurred in the past couple of months. Graduating, moving, a new job/career--it's a lot for a girl to stomach. Luckily I survived and I feel like I'm starting to find a new groove. It's different, but I don't mind this. I feel more mature and a bit more settled.
Because of this, I feel the need to make myself the best that I can be. That's where the introspection comes in. I've been searching for ways to improve me. Listen more, talk less. Learn to be more patient. Respect everyone. Be polite. Smile a lot. Do what makes me feel good.
That last one is the thing that seems to be the hardest for me. Yes, I enjoy spending time with my friends. They are amazing and they make me feel good. But I need to make myself feel good as well. Not that I beat myself up, but I think I could improve who I am if I motivated myself a bit more or expanded my mind a little.
That's why I want to take lessons of some kind. A store nearby offers music lessons. I'm seriously considering taking guitar or bass guitar lessons. The only problem? No guitar. This could be easily remedied, no doubt. Music was a huge part of my life for so long; I'd like to get back into that.
The other thing that I may give some thought to is learning another language. I've always wanted to learn italian. I may just try to teach myself how. How hard could it be?
...
Flashback to second grade. I had a speech impediment, where my R's sounded like W's. I had to take speech lessons to improve my speaking abilities--namely learning to perfect those damn R's. While I battled my tongue, my teacher decided it would be a grand idea for the entire class to learn the basics of the Finnish language. In the UP, everyone is at least partially Finn. My teacher thought it'd help us to appreciate our heritage. My class thought it'd be a good way to get out of doing math and penmanship.
Our first lesson composed learning to pronounce the dreaded R's.
The Finnish language isn't easy to understand. It's even harder to learn. It's impossible to learn if you're a little girl who can't pronounce her R's. The Finnish language is composed of R's. There's at least three R's in every word. And you have to roll them. Like you're purring-RRRRRR. Except when I did it, it sounded like WWWW-WWWAAAH.
I sat towards the front of the classroom. A Finnish lady was trying to teach us our R's. I shrank lower and lower in my seat as she instructed us to roll our tongues.
WWWW.
W-WWW-WWWW.
I squigged my eyes together and thought that if I concentrated hard enough I'd be able to do it.
WWWWWWWWRR!
I opened my eyes when I heard fingers snapping. I realized that they were for me. The Finnish lady pointed at me. "YOU are NOT doing it RIGHT."
"I...I...can't."
"Try."
I pursed my mouth like she said to. I put my tongue behind my teeth like she said to. I concentrated really hard. "WWWWW-WWW."
The Finnish lady just shook her head. "You can't do it right."
...
On second thought...maybe I won't learn another language. Or! If I do, I'll teach myself to avoid horrendous people who don't know decent teaching methods.
I was told a couple of weeks ago that the Finnish language is the hardest language in the world to learn. This fact validates my low-esteemed second-grade self. And give me more confidence in learning a new language. Because, rest assured, I won't be learning the language of the Finns any time soon.
Ciao, dahling!
~*Krissy*~