(Semi) New epiphany tonight:
Stimulating dialogue, intelligent conversation and smart guys are a huge turn-on.
And when I say huge, I mean huuuuge.
This isn't exactly a brand-new realization. At NMU I fell more than once for guys who were able to engage me in debate and thoughtful dialogue. And I completely admire the guys in my cohort because (for the most part) they're thoughtful and smart and can hold a conversation about anything from student development theory to the subtext of last week's episode of The Office. And I love love LOVE IT when a guy has a list of goals he'd like to accomplish in life because it means he's thought about where he is and where he wants to go. Self-reflection is hot.
But it's been taken to a new level now. I'm in a doctoral-level theory class where half of my classmates are PhD candidates who do nothing but pick apart theories. Instead of being annoyed by this fact, I find myself engaging in discussions about minutae about leadership qualities and cultures of organizations. I'm vollying back and forth with very intelligent men who are not only listening, engaging and respecting what I have to say, but giving me props and thinking about things differently because of my thoughts and theories. The level of conversation I've had in this class is unlike anything I've ever had before. It's incredible and invigorating and completely inspiring. And pretty hot because one of my conversation partners has the prettiest eyes EVER.
It's good to know that my ideas are invoking thought. It's great to know that I'm respected for my thoughts. It's an amazing feeling. And that's the reason why it's a turn-on. I spent a year and a half in a relationship with a man (??) who didn't value learning, self-reflection or intellectual conversation that could lead to growth. The most profound thing he ever said was a quote from South Park (which can be profound at times, but he said it in jest). Learning and growth are two of my core values; they mean a lot to me. So when I find people (especially guys with pretty eyes) who share those beliefs and want to talk about subjects I care about (ie: leadership...and, ok, The Office), I get dizzy with happiness.
It's not like I'm going to go into class and hump anyone's leg or anything. But knowing that I need to have engaging conversation and thoughtful talks that could get me thinking in a different perspective helps me. That element was missing in my relationship with my ex, but it won't be in my next one. I've come too far and grown too much (some happening through conversation!) to accept anything less. And it if just happens to be with someone who has pretty eyes? All the better.