It's a landmark weekend for me. Why? Because, I, Krissy, drove downstate and back all by myself. This? Is a big deal. I don't drive more than four hours by myself because, frankly, I don't like to. This trip took eight hours. One way. It's about four hundred miles each way. To put it in perspective, Christy told me that if she went eight hours from Hillsdale, she could get to Pennsylvania or the southern border of Tennesee OR to Iowa. Not that I'd want to go to any of those places (except maybe to Pennsylvania because of the East Coast appeal) but still. You could go really really far driving for eight hours. Instead I drove eight hours in the same state. Twice.
I deserve a medal.
Not that it was in vain. No no. It was Christy's bridal shower. It was all pink and beautiful. And then we got to go shopping where I got clothes for work. Clothes! I bought skirts, people. Cute clothes! Whee!
And! I got fitted for my bridesmaid dress. Or as I like to call it "the moment where I lost sight of my self-esteem."
First off, David's Bridal ordered my dress FAR too big. So when I put it on, it almost slid off. Why? Because I have no boobs.
Then I heard Christy tell the seamstress "Krissy has a weird body type." Why? Because I have no boobs.
As I emerged from behind the dressing screen, holding up my dress, I replied, "yes, I have the breasts of an adolescent and the hips of a child-baring woman." Because I do.
Hear ye, hear ye: I have the weirdest body type EVER.
And the seamstress confirmed it when she said, "yeah, you do have an odd body."
She continued to fit the dress. When she got to my chest she tugged at the excess material. She pinned. And unpinned. And repinned. And repeated the process while sighing. Then she looked at me.
Seamstress: Your chest doesn't look that bad.
Me: HAHAHA! Yes it does.
Seamstress: OK it does. A strapless underwire would help, though.
Me: Uh, I AM wearing one of those.
Seamstress: Oh. Well we can add padding and cups to the dress....
I think for my birthday I'm asking for breast implants. Or those pills that claim to "naturally enhance" my chest.
Ciao, dahling!
~*Krissy*~