I never wanted to be That Girl.
That Girl: (noun...or is it an adjective?) A girl who develops a crush and then spends all of her time thinking, talking, wondering, dreaming, eating and giggling about said crush. If she's not talking about him, she's talking and/or texting him in leiu of being with him.
Yet, this past week, I've found myself playing the role of That Girl. I met a guy on MySpace and he quickly went from IM friend to full-blown crush. And I quickly went from level-headed (or, um, as level-headed as I am) girl to That Girl.
As I played the role of That Girl I found myself easily distracted. I spent every free moment thinking of him and wondering if he was thinking of me and if he was thinking of me what was he thinking about me? And when would I talk to him again? And did he like me as much as I liked him?
And the text messaging. Good GOD, the texting. I was not a fan of it--I always found it to be a passive aggressive way of communicating. I thought it was stupid and a waste of time. But suddenly when he was texting me, it was the cutest thing in the world. And I jumped whenever I heard my message alert go off. And I texted all last weekend like my life depended on it, much to the dismay of the friends I spent my packed weekend with.
I ignored the teasing that was a constant from Joe and Andy. I smirked when my roommate teased me about my "new guy." Taunt all you want, I thought, I'm crushing!!! Wheee!
Whee! describes a crush well for me. When I fall, I fall hard and fast. I think of my crush and butterflies appear in my stomach. The butterflies morph into pirouetting elephants the more I talk to him. If I mention him to my friends I go "heeee!" and get a moronic grin on my face. I get a rush that feels better than any speed or caffeine or roller coaster could ever give me. Crushing is an addictive thing. It's why I don't mind being That Girl sometimes.
Then other times I glimpse how others must see me. I look like an idiot when I have a gaping grin on my face and I'm one-dimensional when all I talk about is a guy. I hate it when my friends only talk about their crushes or significant others, so why would they be so thrilled to hear about mine? I've always strived to be multi-dimensional--or entertaining at the very least--so when being That Girl, it's like I'm ignoring all other aspects of my life (which is actually going pretty well at the moment). That weekend when I texted him every freakin' three minutes? I was missing out on party moments or friends laughing or people watching. I was there, but I wasn't fully there because I was busy being That Girl.
But it's not like there's anything I can really do, other than fully realize that I've turned into That Girl. Every girl does, it's just a matter of time. We all want to be wanted and we like it when a guy is giving us attention. We'll gladly act dopey-dumb because we like the attention and validation. But at least now I realize that. So I may be That Girl, but at least I'm That Girl with a brain to boot.
Ciao, dahling!
~*Krissy*~