One of These Days I'll Stop Talking About the Break-Up of '08 [ August 19, 2008, 6:55 pm ]

Stupid move. Stupid move. I should never have returned his phone call. I should have ignored the texts. I should have been stronger.

But I wasn't.

I can't take it back now, so I won't kick myself for the mistake.

I do wish I wouldn't have, though. Because the wound is reopened. I hurt so much. Again.

What do you say when someone tells you he'll never stop loving you? How do you react when you hear that you're the best thing that's ever happened and you've had the biggest impact ever on him and he'll be settling if he's not with you?

I react by crying. Lots. Hard. To the point of dehydration.

It would be so easy to forgive him. To take him back like he begged me to. To give into the craving to be held by him...

But I know that that's not the right thing to do. In my heart I know that that can't happen. There is no trust. How can there be after what happened? But it doesn't mean it's easy.

Why is the right thing so damn hard?

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