The following scenes actually occurred. They are true, but they may have been edited for time and entertainment purposes.
Scene: at the front of my lane today, I'm "greeting customers" (which is really just a technical phrase that S-Mart uses for when cashiers are standing at the front of their aisles trying not to impale themselves in boredom) when I see a three-year-old boy wandering about with a quivering chin. I approach him.
boy: *takes one look at me and starts full-out bawling*
Me: It's alright! Are you ok?
Boy: *cries louder*
Me: Are you lost?
Boy: *shakes head and shrieks* (customers are now noticing and gathering in clumps around us)
Me: *about to cry myself* Did you lose your mommy?
Boy: *crouches into fetal position while continuing to sob*
Clearly, I was charming the child to tears. Me being the calm-headed one I am, shriek "I don't know what to doooo!" and grab an older cashier. She has children and thus, child experience. Within three seconds she's gotten him to quiet down and figured out his name. Meanwhile I gawk and wring my hands because that's what my area of expertise is.
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Scene: while cashiering, a quartet of mohawked, black-clad, eye-liner wearing boys saunter through my line. The leader (read: the one with the fiercest 'hawk) greets me.
Leader: Hellooooo!
Me: (being the overly friendly S-Mart cheerleader that I am) Heyyyy! How are you?
Boy #2: Hi!
Me: Hi!
Leader: HA! She likes me better! She was all happy to talk to ME! She barely gave you a half-second response.
Boy #2: Ouch! That hurts! Hey! You don't like HIM better do you? If so, I'll cry.
Me: Uh...sorry?
Boy #2: oh come on! I'm so cuter than him! You like me better right! I like you more than he likes you!
Leader: Don't listen to him! He's just jealous that you actually spoke to me.
Boy #2: Whatever! I'm cuter than he is! Say you like me better!
Leader: Which one do you like better? Me, the charming one? Or him, the loser?
Me: Uhh...
Both of them: (with an intensity that should only be reserved for McBeth or a chemistry class cram session) PICK ME!
Little teenage punk boys vying for my affection. It was like The Bachelorette: Hot Topic edition. I'm not gonna lie, though--it made my night, made me smile and made me feel a bit hotter. And that can't be a bad thing.
So the lesson? Little boys in crisis love me not, but little boys in goth gear love me so. Charmed, I'm sure.
Ciao, dahling!
~*Krissy*~