I sometimes say that my life feels like a novel. Some of the events that occur seem too bizarre or hilarious to be real. But they are. What I never counted on though, was to feel like I'm stuck in a bad plotline.
People want to couple up for a variety of reasons. They want validation, they want to know love and be loved, they want to grow, they want someone to go through life with them. Each person has different reasons, but deep down we all have the desire to be a part of something that is bigger than ourselves. It's human nature.
Because of this, we're all on a quest to find someone. Some only want a relationship for an evening, others (and dare I say, most of us?) want to find someone that will be with us for life. Some quest more easily than others.
I am not one of those lucky ones.
Every day I see couples who look blissful. I see people who belong together. I hear stories of people coupling up. It surrounds me. It mocks me.
It sounds SO easy. Some make it look so easy. But it has never come easy for me. Maybe it's my neurotic nature or the width of my hips or the volume of my voice. Whatever the reason, I've never found myself in a serious relationship.
And most days? This fact is fine by me. Relationships take work and commitment and sometimes there's fighting and headaches and maybe tears. I don't know that I'm ready to sign up for that.
And then I have moments like now where I want nothing more than to share the mundane, sleepy moments of my life with a partner. To have someone beside me and behind me to witness the misadventures of my life. I crave it. A lot.
But I'm sick of looking. All that I seem to see are pig-headed, shallow guys who want nothing more than a fuck. There are allegedly guys who want more than that. But they seem like a myth or an urban legend to me. I've seen none of these types. And truth be told, I am sick of looking for these rumored men.
I'm sick of searching. I'm too young to be sick of it, but I am. I feel like a cliche'd chick flick heroin. Too bad the type of guy I want seems to be fictional as well.
Ciao, dahling!
~*Krissy*~