How not to act in public*:
- freak all up on anything with a crotch in an attempt to announce to the world "hey world! I'm horny!"
- pretend to perform oral on a member of the same sex while a semi-racy song is being belted by some lovely ladies (the song? "My Humps." The ladies? Me, Laurie and my sister. The people being nasty? Two girls who have watched too much Skinemax evidentally.)
- if wearing a skirt, hike it up all the way. Because the world wants to see your goods. Really.
- make it perfectly clear that you're not wearing a bra by flashing all of the bar.
- peer at someone's ass crack when they bend over.
*even if public is a bar where the liquor is free-flowing.
I must have missed the memo that announced that Remies on karaoke night is now amateur porn night. I'll make sure to bring my pasties and five-inch stilletos next week in order to fit in with the pornstar wannabes. Or maybe I just won't go. I don't like feeling like I need to take a four-hour shower after seeing some skanks get quasi-fingered. Pass me the Dial, please!
Ciao, dahling!
~*Krissy*~