Nostalgia Comes in Many Forms [ October 11, 2005, 10:35 am ]

"This is great! Wow...wow. Oh my god, Krissy, but don't tell your mom! Please!!"

He murmured this into my ear as he was drunkenly dancing on stage with my friends and I as we sang our hearts out to "Good-bye Earl." I just looked at him, threw my head back and laughed.

That is such the typical thing for a Chassell-ite to say. Well, to say to me at least.

I've dubbed the past few days as Blast from the Past for Krissy! weekend (which is quickly turning into week). While out on Saturday, I ran into Mike, who graduated three years ahead of me, but who taught me practically everything I know about drumming. (And also a bit about acting like a goofy dork.) He was so thrilled to see me that he played back-up dancer to my karaokeing friends and I. And the reason he made the comment about my mom was because EVERYONE knows my mom. She's the Chassell-ite Socialite; everyone loves and respects her. Mike may have been mortified if I reported to my mother that he was attempting to tango with me on a dive bar's stage.

Then yesterday, I saw a friend who graduated a year ahead of me. Randomly enough, she's married to a coworker of mine from SMart. And she's eight months pregnant. (Seriously--WHY does everyone in the Keweenaw feel the urge to have children so freakin' young? Good GOD people, have you not heard of enjoying your life? Seeing the world perhaps? Pursuing a career? Ack!) We crammed four years of catching up into two and a half minutes.

The other night I couldn't sleep, so I plopped myself in front of my bookcase and leafed through some of my books. I found my yearbook from my senior year. As I pulled it from the shelf, a jolt of nostalgia ran through me. Flipping through the pages and reading people's messages to me made me think of people who hadn't crossed my mind in years. It reminded me of things that had blurred in my mind: the sugary pop music I listened to, the long hours of yearbook staff meetings after-school, the morning announcements I made every morning to the school, the spirit week activities that my class was far too into winning, the girl I'd adopted as my "little sis", the fundraisers we worked our asses off for to make it to Hawaii, the endless hours of loitering in Senior Hall because there was nothing better to do. It made me miss that last, sweet year of high school.

I never miss high school. I've missed some of the experiences and friends from high school, but I never longed to go back. It was different the other night, though. I wanted to be wandering the halls, where my biggest concern was turning in my Physics homework. I wanted to fret about Band Festival and upcoming fundraisers. I wanted to harass the school secretary and hang out in the band room with my best friends. In that moment, I wanted to go back. If a genie would have popped up while I was sitting in front of my bookshelf that night, one of my wishes would have been to return to high school.

I'm not dillusional. I know that it wasn't just the place; it was a specific time in my life and I'm in a completely different place in my life right now. Perhaps that's why I longed for it. It was simpler. I was simply happy. I'm happy now, but back then I was unquestionably (and naively) happy. Maybe I've been seeing people from my past and feeling as I've been feeling for a reason. Maybe the universe/God/fate/whatever is trying to help me remember who I was. And how far I've come.

Ciao, dahling!

~*Krissy*~

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