Today would have been our two-year anniversary.
It's funny--I nearly forgot that it was today until I thought about the day for a second while driving to complete an errand. It was a fleeting thought for but a moment. But then the realization hit me. I gave him a year and a half of my life. I worked hard to make things work. I shared my life with him and invited him into anything that I was doing. I gave him everything.
But he chose to throw it away the moment where I saw his eyes darken and he rushed at me.
He could have had me forever. I was willing to take his last name and build a life with him.
Instead he is alone because he lashed out in a moment of such intense violence that I am not sure I will ever forget it...nor am I sure I will ever forgive him.
Today should have been a day of celebration for the two of us. Instead I am left doubting the very existance of love and questioning who the hell I can truly trust in this world.
I am moving on. But first I need to mourn this date because for a short period in life, December 12th was significant. I only wish that things could have turned out differently. But maybe someday I'll celebrate a different date. Maybe.