Father's Day was last week. As such, I was in the Carolinas with some of my best friends, so I barely realized it was a holiday until about 4 in the afternoon. When it was mentioned though, I started to think about my dad and men in general. While I don't talk about my dad that much, I have to honor him in a way. So--one week late!--here is my tribute to my dad and the other men who have made an impact in my life...
- The invitable: my dad. He did so much wrong. He abused my mother, he was an alcoholic, he walked out on my family not once but twice, he married again only three days after the divorce was finalized. It's a heavy burden for him. But those are the things that I want to thank him for. He hasn't been a huge influence in my life for two decades, yet he taught me much because of his mistakes. I know the power of forgiveness because he had the humility to ask it of my family. I know about a different kind of strength because of what he's endured as repercussions for all the wrong he's done. I know that the world isn't the enchanged place I thought it was because of what he did to my family and I. While this could leave me bitter and unhappy, I look at it as a necessary lesson I was bound to learn. In an odd way it makes me that much more grateful for all of the amazing things that have happened in my life. Perhaps I wouldn't love or appreciate life as much if my dad hadn't influenced it like he did.
- The unasked man: Emily's dad. He became a sort of father-figure without any pomp, circumstance, expectation or reward. I joke that Em's family is like my second family, but it is no joke; it is the stone-cold truth. The fastest fact of that lies in her father who is stoic, funny, endearing, loving and an excellent role model and leader. I learned that good men exist because of his relationships with his wife and children. And me.
- The unending love: Joe. Truly my first love, my best friend is an amazing man who taught me about unconditional love from the minute we bonded at NMU. He's seen me through more hairstyles, temper tantrums, mini-crises, mega-triumphs and life moments than anyone and has loved me through it all. His kindness, generosity and diva-like spirit have influenced me in so many ways.
- The sitcom friend: Brett. One of my closest friends to this day, I don't tell him enough how much I appreciate his tenacity, but more importantly his hilariously sarcastic sense of humor that seems to buoy him through life and its twists, turns, bumps and random moments. He can make me laugh simply by giving me his "WTF" look or recounting his latest family adventure to me. He has a great sense of adventure which has lead us to road trip almost-fiascos and unforgettable karaoke moments. Brett is the guy you want in your life throughout it all because of his perspective and sarcastic remarks. He's the sidekick in the sitcoms who is underrated, but like all of those characters, I know good things will come to him.
- The married man: Nate. My friend Christy is one lucky woman, for she found Nate and in him, her soulmate. In Nate I found a reason to carry on when I was in my "guys suck" periods after a bad date or awful bar trip because he reminds me that good guys exist. He is one of them. Together, we fire off infantile jokes and quote Borat and Napoleon Dynamite. I appreciate his adolescent sense of humor and the reminder that out there are some good guys.
- My boys: the guys in my cohort. It would be impossible to single them out, but I wanted to let them know that they are all incredible. Individually they are hilarious, endearing, intelligent, adventurous, sweet and supportive. But get two or more together for a group dinner or adventure and it's all that good stuff times ten, where I end up clutching my stomach in laughter while my head swims with new thoughts about life, love and student development theories.
- My love: John. All the influences in my life have lead me to my own man, John. He's listed last, but in life? He comes first. He's taught me the meaning of true love, about acceptance, patience, support, silliness and the little moments that make life and love completely worth it. He accepts me and my neuroses, my loves of Disney, musicals, writing, caffeine and best friends, my endeavor into the world of MSU and the journey to the Master's Degree which sometimes yields me an egomanical, stressed out freak and loves me because of all of these things. He's seen me dressed up, dressed down, made up and sans makeup, slaying a song during karaoke and throwing up from bad Chinese food. He loves me and his love has helped me to become a better person. The relationship is not always a fairy tale, but it is worth every moment we've spent on it. Although he has not been in my life as long as some of the other guys on this list, his impact resonates among the strongest and I love him even more because of all of these things.
So there is is. My tribute to the guys in my life. Thank you for making my life richer, deeper, stronger and better. I feel honored to know all of you.
Ciao, dahling!