My high school math teacher told my class this great story about his relationship. He told us that he had been dating his now-wife for about a year and he was wondering if he should propose to her. He shared that he was fairly certain that it was the right time, but he wasn't 110% sure. So he prayed about it and asked for guidance. As he finished a tiny voice from within urged him to look at the calendar. It was March 4th.
"March fourth. March Forth. It was like a sign from above that I should move forward and ask her to marry me. So I did. And I couldn't be happier."
I heard this story at least eleven or twelve years ago. Yet it sticks with me to this day, partially because of the clever wordplay that I love so much and partially because the power of prayer and looking within resonates deeply with me. Every March 4th I look at the calendar and smile, thinking of the story my teacher once shared with my class.
March forth resonates so much with me right now, too, as I've wrapping up a really challenging week. Not only is one of my best friends suffering from an unexpected tragedy, but I've finally closed the chapter on my (as-of-late) rocky relationship with my boyriend. I toiled for too long in ambiguity under the guise that I was giving him time to figure things out, so sure that things would eventually turn around and we could just be happy and in love. However, that wasn't meant to be so I finally conjoured up the strength to say goodbye. I needed to march forth on my own, as much as I really didn't want it to end.
I've spent most of 2011 mourning the loss of this relationship. I wanted desperately to believe that things would work out, praying, wishing, hoping that somehow we could just be happy together. Eventually I realized that I could do better, that I would be better on my own because it couldn't hurt worse than I was hurting at the moment. I didn't want things to end like they did. I didn't want things to end at all, yet I needed to write the end of that chapter instead of dragging it out. So I wrote it, sobbing at times, heartsick at the fact that something that was so good for a while could end so anticlimatically with barely any closure. But it needed to be done. Goodbye needed to be said so I could march forth.
So I did what I once thought would be the unthinkable and finished that chapter. And perhaps one day I'll be able to recount to friends, family and/or students my own engagement story with it's uniquely unfolding happy ending.