"Joe?!?" His dad hovered over me early, too early, this morning. He sounded confused and slightly annoyed. There was, after all, a lump crashing on his living room couch.
I rolled over and unearthed my head from the sea of blankets. "Not Joe."
"Krissy? Why aren't you sleeping in the guest room?" Joe's dad sounded even more confused now.
I shuddered. "Bat. In the basement."
Late last night, Joe and I stumbled home from an amazing outdoor concert. The combination of alcohol, sun, screaming and four hours of fantastic music had left us exhausted. I quickly retreated to Joe's guest bedroom, the basement of his parent's house where there's a pull-out couch and plenty of blankets. Many road trips to Troy have left me well aquainted with the basement. I quickly crawled into the bed and curled into a ball. My concert high was wearing thin; I wanted sleep.
Soon the sleepy stage that leaves one feeling light-headed and floaty came upon me. Nestled under the covers, I felt safe, happy, at home. I wasn't even fazed by an odd flapping sound that seemed to be in surround sound around the basement.
Wait...
I opened my eyes. There shouldn't BE any flapping noise going around the basement. That's...not normal. The noise continued for a couple of seconds, then stopped. Maybe it was just my imagination.
I shut my eyes again. Just...don't think about it. Sleeeep. Sleep, Krissy. There was no sound. Just your imagina-
My thoughts were interrupted by a tiny, high-pitched squeaking sound. THAT I couldn't imagine. Then suddenly the squeaking and the flapping noise began to form it's own song. Together. Flap! Squeeak! Flap-flap! Squeak squeeeeeeeak!
Oh. My. God. There is a BAT in the basement. THERE'S A BAT IN THE BASEMENT! BAT! WHERE I'M SLEEPING! How the fuck did it get down here? It's the flippin' basement, not an attic. Oh who cares? It's a BAT AND IT'S GOING TO ATTACK ME WHEN I'M SLEEPING AND SCRATCH ME AND EAT MY FLESH. Sweet Jesus, don't let me get eaten by a basement bat! I don't want to die! I don't want some weird skin ailment caused by a random basement bat! OH MY GOD IT'S FLAPPING AROUND AGAIN. Soon it'll find my head and start eating my hair and scratching my face! That'd be too tragic--my skin is actually looking good for once in my life! I don't want any basement bat to ruin it! AHHHHH! It's FLYING AGAIN!!! I'M GOING TO DIIIIIE!
I didn't care that I was being over-dramatic. I don't do well when there's flying rodents sharing a living space with me.
I crept up the stairs and opened Joe's bedroom door. "Joooooe? Joe? JOE!! Joe! There's a bat in the basement! Bat! In your basement! It's going to kill me! Eeee! I'm not joking either! I don't joke about rodents!"
He opened one eye. And gave me a look only a gay man who is very disgustingly annoyed could give. "What am I supposed to do about it?" He rolled over and settled back in. Clearly my crisis meant a lot to him. "Go sleep in the living room," he murmured as he fell back into his deep sleep.
I did just that. And slept well because there was no flying rodent attempting to eat my skin. Just don't ask me to go back to the Bat Cave. Because I won't. Not until it's converted back to being Joe's basement. Because I like to sleep in a bed that doesn't have creatures flying above it, thanks.
Ciao, dahling!
~*Krissy*~